“Do you want the male version or the female version?” That’s something my wife and I say to each other fairly often.
It’s our way of describing how we want to hear “the story”. (What the heck were you thinking?)
We’ve discovered that when you’re telling a story, men want to know the bottom line first, then a few details. Women want to hear the beginning and middle of the story before they hear the end. They want to share the experience.
So if I get home from the market where I’d run into an old friend, I’m going to say something like, “Joe and Sue separated. I saw Joe at the market today. Pretty sad.”
My wife, on the other hand, might come home and say, “You’ll never guess what happened today. I was at the market in the bread aisle. Oh yeah, I got that sourdough you like. Anyway, I saw Sue and she looked terrible. Not a stitch of makeup. She looked like she just got out of bed. I asked her how she was doing and she said ‘not good’. She and Joe have been fighting for months. They went to counseling and really tried to work things out but Joe got fired and started drinking again. . .”
Male version. Female version.
I don’t know if there is any scientific basis for this. I could be dead wrong. Maybe it’s just that my wife and I are different.
The point is that people are different and you have to know who you are talking to. Some people want you to get to the point. Others want to hear the details.
If you’re not sure, just ask, “Do you want the male version or the female version?”






How to get people talking about you and your law practice
One of the best ways to help people understand what you do is to tell stories about the clients and cases you’ve handled in the past. All of your marketing documents and messages should be peppered with client stories for reasons I’ve written about before.
But if you want people to talk about you and remember you and send business to you, there’s one more story you need to tell: your story.
People are fascinated by lawyers. Yes, they criticize us and make jokes about us, but at the same time, they love to watch TV dramas and read novels featuring attorneys.
Of course we know that the real world of practicing law is not anything like that depicted on TV. By and large, what we do is boring.
Nevertheless, your clients and prospects and social media fans and followers believe you lead a fascinating life. They would love to peek behind the curtain to see what you do.
Don’t tell them. Remember, what you do is boring.
But who you are is not.
Tell them your story. What drives you? What gets you out of bed in the morning, ready to slay dragons and save princesses? Why do you do what you do?
Share your passion for your work and insights into who you are. What fascinated you when you were growing up? Who influenced you? What experiences made you the person you are today?
Share your feelings and beliefs, desires and dreams, and even your fears. Let people see that you are a real person, just like them.
Real stories, of course, have a dramatic arc. There is controversy, disagreement, hardship, struggle. Our hero (that’s you) wants something, but there are obstacles in the way. The dragon doesn’t roll over and die, you have to slay him.
Find the dramatic story of your life and tell it. It’s what makes you unique and memorable. It’s what will help you stand out in the crowd.
Your story will attract people and get them talking about you and sending you business. And hey, if your story is good enough, one day we might see it on TV.