When I was fresh out of law school, I tried networking because I thought I should meet new people, acquire some new skills, and (I hoped) bring in some business. 

I hated it. 

Going out at night and talking to strangers, playing the “tell me about yourself” game, was (for me) unpleasant in the extreme. I did meet people and eventually signed up.a few clients (most of whom were broke), but it was a good experience, primarily because it forced me to find other ways to bring in business. 

If you’re brand new, do it and find out for yourself. If you’re not knew and you don’t like networking, or aren’t good at it, stop doing it. Why punish yourself?

There’s something easier (and more fruitful) you can do.  

Instead of trying to meet new people, simply re-connect with people you already know. Not your regular contacts—people who used to be regular contacts that you’ve lost touch with.

No doubt you know many people you haven’t spoken to in a while. Make a list. Clients, prospects, business contacts of all types. It’s probably a long list. These are people who once hired you, referred you, or introduced you to others, or were at least open to doing these things. 

They might be open to doing them now. 

They are certainly more likely to do that than strangers you meet at a networking event. Because they know you and remember you. You don’t have to play the “tell me about yourself” game. Just contact them, say hello, and see what they’re doing. 

Your so-called “weak” or “dormant” ties represent a big opportunity to bring in business and opportunities because you have “history”. When you connect with them, mention something you recall about them, their case, their business, or a mutual contact. Or thank them for how they helped you (or your clients) in the past and how you appreciate their help and friendship.  

And then, find out what you can do to help them. 

Traditional networking ends to be about “chasing” people and opportunities. Re-connecting with people from your past is about sharing that past with people from it.

It’s easier to re-kindle a fire that has died down than to start one with dry wood.

Everyone networks. Whether formally, by attending events, or informally as they go about their day. They meet new people, in person or online, representing opportunities to grow their network, build their business or practice, or advance their career. 

But not everyone gets what they would like out of these encounters. 

If you want meeting new people to be a rewarding experience, there are three rules you should follow: 

1. Make a friend. That means making the initial contact a pleasant experience for both of you. You exchange pleasantries and contact information, acknowledge anything you have in common, and look for opportunities to follow-up. 
2. Find out what they want. This is the essence of effective networking. You need to know how you can help them, and how they can help you (and/or your clients). This is likely to take more than one conversation (unless you meet through a formal networking group where this type of exchange is expected), but it is the essence of effective networking.
3. Find out who they know (before they go). Most encounters with new people don’t bear fruit, for a variety of reasons. Expect it, and find out who they know who might need your services or have clients or contacts who do, or can help your clients get something they want or need. Someone who might be a better connection for you than the person you’ve just met. 

You might hate networking, but you are going to meet new people. Follow these three rules and you may find networking to be fruitful and help you multiply.