Networking for lawyers who hate networking 

August 6, 2026 by
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I’m not a networker. Not naturally, anyway. And yet my practice and businesses grew significantly as a result of meeting new people.

Traditionally, networking meant going to meetings, shaking a lot of hands, making small talk and getting to know a lot of people, hoping someone might be interested in what you do.

It’s all about building a bigger list of contacts. And hoping you get lucky.

The good news is there is another option. You don’t need to go to a lot of meetings and shake a lot of hands. You don’t need a big network to be successful. You only need to connect with a few people.

If they’re the right people.

Call it Networking 2.0. Or, networking for people who hate networking.

What do I mean by “the right people”? I mean people who are influential in your niche or target market. They know a lot of people who might need your services, or can refer them.

The know a lot of the people you want to know and those people trust them.

Even one or two of the right people could help your practice blow up.

Okay, what do you do?

The first step is to identify them by “category”.

Ask yourself, “What kinds of people are already trusted by a large number of my ideal clients or prospects?”

You’ll probably come up with a list of professionals and business owners or executives, financial advisors, consultants, and others who regularly work with, advise, or sell to the people in your target market.

You might go through your client list and ask yourself who provided you with your last three referrals or introductions. What is their background, specialty, niche, or area of expertise?

Don’t limit yourself to professionals and business people, however. Some of your “regular” clients or contacts might be influential in your target market.

After you’ve identified some categories, the next step is to identify some “candidates”.

The first way to do that is to talk to your existing contacts and find out who they know. people who know you and your work. Tell them you want to expand your network and ask who they know who might be a good contact for you.

And then, ask if they will introduce you.

Yes, it can be that simple.

If they aren’t comfortable introducing you, or you’re not comfortable asking them to do it, tell them you’ll look up their contact info and ask if it’s okay for you to mention that you have a mutual connection.

How could they say no?

You can also find candidates yourself. Probably on social media. Yes, that’s harder to do because the “right people” don’t know you and are undoubtedly approached by an endless number of people who want to get to know them (and gain access to their network), so they’re skeptical and unlikely to help you anytime soon.

It will take some time and effort on your part. Even if you are introduced to them.

Okay, after you’ve identified some candidates, follow them, learn more about what they do and what they want, and when the time is right (don’t rush it), approach them.

Comment on one of their posts or on someone else’s post they replied to, mentioned, or shared.

Get on their radar and then provide value.

Value means helping them with ideas, information, introductions, endorsements, referrals, ratings and reviews, and your opinion on things that appear to be important to them.

Value means promoting their event, sharing their content, telling them about resources you’ve discovered that could benefit them or their clients, and possibly offering assistance with something they might need or want.

Again, don’t rush. Don’t do it immediately after you follow them. First, show them you appreciate what they do, and that you are a serious professional worth knowing.

And give it time.

Don’t expect overnight success. Even if someone they know and trust introduces or recommends you, or you’re able to help them with something important.

it’s going to take time for them to trust you enough to help you.

It will be worth it. Remember, you chose them because they’re one of the right people (for you). And remember, you don’t have to go to endless meetings.

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Filed Under: Marketing legal services, Networking, Social media marketing

You don’t need a big network

January 20, 2026 by
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You don’t have a lot of business contacts? Social media isn’t your thing? You don’t do a lot of networking or socializing?

Me neither. 

Contrary to popular business sentiment, success doesn’t depend on having an extensive network. I don’t have one. Never did. And yet I built a successful law practice and several businesses, including—are you ready—a successful network marketing business. 

Networking is a great way to build a business or professional practice, but it’s not the only way. 

If that sounds like good news to you, welcome to the club. 

More good news? If you want to incorporate networking into your practice-building array, you can do that without putting in a lot of time or effort. 

Because you you don’t need a big network. You need an influential network. 

A few people who are well-known and well-respected in your niche or market, and who feel the same way about you. 

A few influential contacts are all you need because they will lead you to a few more.

They know other influential people in your market, professionals, business owners, consultants, people in media, people who write or speak or who are simply good at their job and know other people they can refer. 

And you need only a few. 

It’s about the depth of your relationships, not the breadth. 

Build strong relationships with a few influential people who are a good fit for you and the markets you target, or want to, and you’re good. 

Quality over quality. 

This year, set a goal to develop one new “good” contact. That sounds doable, doesn’t it? Even for those of us who don’t like networking or aren’t good at it. 

One is a great number. 

And guess what? You might not even have to find someone new. You might simply get closer to someone you already know. 

Call them. Buy them a coffee. Talk to them about what they’re doing and what they’d like to do this year. 

You never know, they might be “the one” or lead you “the one” and, wonder of wonders, they’ve been in your phone book all this time, waiting for you to call.

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Filed Under: Networking, Relationship marketing, Social media marketing

Treating your competition

December 4, 2025 by
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You read that right–”treating” your competition, not the conventional advice about “beating” them. 

It’s a different philosophy. 

Reach out to other lawyers in your niche or market and get to know them, or, if you already know them, get to know them better. 

See them not as a threat but as a friend. Not someone to “beat” but someone to work with.

Treat them to lunch, share your presentation or article, find something positive to say about theirs.

Yes, even though they might target the same cases or clients you target. Even if they are literally your competition.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I’m suggesting this because if these other attorneys or firms see you as a friend, you might get some referrals from them when they have a conflict or a case or client that’s not right for them. 

This is obviously true and how I started my practice. But the philosophy of reaching out to other attorneys in your niche goes beyond that. You can learn from them and be inspired by them, even if just by observing them. 

What are they doing that’s working? Maybe you can do it, too. What mistakes have they made? Perhaps you can avoid doing what they did. Who do they know you should know, if not by name but by category?

Why would other lawyers be willing to embrace you this way? After all, you might look at them as a friend or business asset, but most attorneys, raised on a zero-sum “beat the competition” mindset, are unlikely to see you the same way. 

Maybe. In which case, their reticence might become a self-sorting mechanism, showing you who might be worth knowing and who might be best kept at a distance. 

On the other hand, maybe your openness will unlock something in them that could be mutually beneficial. Maybe they would love to get to know you (or know you better), learn from you and be inspired by you.

In the end, it’s not about them. It’s about you. Your habit of seeing everyone as a potential friend and a willingness to see where that could lead. 

I know lawyers who are like that. Natural networkers, with lots of friends and contacts, and very successful practices as a result. 

It’s not the only path to building a professional practice, not something I’m good at or enjoy. But it’s something I’ve been willing to do over the years, and it has almost always led to good things.

We don’t have competition, you and I. Just people we don’t yet know, or know well enough to call a friend.

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Filed Under: Increase your income, Law office management, Legal industry, Marketing legal services, Networking, Relationship marketing

5-minute networking 

August 21, 2025 by
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Who says networking requires endlessly going to meetings and introducing ourselves to strangers? Why can’t we network with people we already know? 

We can, and we can do it in a few minutes. 

Go through your list of clients and business contacts, choose someone you haven’t connected with for a while, and send them a quick email or text. 

It might be a lawyer you worked with a few years before. A business contact you haven’t talked to in a couple of years. An old client or prospect. 

Anyone who might recognize your name. 

What do you say? You say hello and ask how they’re doing. 

You don’t need to say anything else, ask anything, offer to send anything, or suggest lunch. 

You just say hello. 

They might respond and say hello back. They might ask you a question, call you or invite you to lunch.

If they don’t, no harm, no foul. You’re not doing this to drum up business; you’re just keeping your name in front of people. If they want to talk to you, your message might prompt them to do that. If not now, eventually, when they need your help or know someone who does. 

Reach out to someone this morning, let them see you’re still around (and thinking about them), and enjoy the rest of your day. The next time you connect with them, good things might happen. 

If not, at least you didn’t drive across town after a long day of work and introduce yourself to strangers.  

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Filed Under: Networking

Networking for lawyers who hate networking

August 19, 2025 by
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Building a successful law practice often involves developing connections with influential people, resulting in referrals, introductions, and opportunities. As Jim Rohn used to say, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” If you don’t enjoy networking or haven’t been successful at it in the past, it might be because you’ve been networking with the wrong people. 

Who are the right people? Yes, professionals and business contacts who know the kinds of people who would be good clients for you, and the people who can refer them, but it’s more than that. The right people are people who inspire you. 

When we associate with people who inspire us, we feel inspired. If we associate with people who encourage us to do better, we do better. 

Not everyone who is doing better than you will inspire you, however. Their success might actually discourage you by setting the bar too high. You want to be selective and associate with people who not only have connections that are a good match for you but who encourage and motivate you to reach for the success you desire. 

Quantity doesn’t necessarily lead to quality. You can’t depend on finding the right people at a typical networking group meeting or by asking struggling business owners for introductions. 

A better approach is to put together a plan to meet the most influential people in your target market. 

That means doing a little research. 

Learn all you can about the leaders in your target market and don’t rush to connect with them. Give it time. The right opportunity to meet them will eventually reveal itself to you.  

In the interim, work on developing your authority and desirability as a networking contact. Work on your public speaking, publish articles, write a book, get some publicity. 

Get people talking about you. Become the person you would like to meet. When you do, networking will be easy for you because influential people want to associate with other influential people. 

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Filed Under: Marketing Plan, Networking

Your 5-second introduction 

July 17, 2025 by
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“Hi, I’m Joe. I’m a business attorney here in Small Town.” Within seconds, most people won’t remember what Joe said. 

Joe’s introduction is accurate but forgettable. It tells people who he is, not what he does, for whom, or why it matters. 

We can do better. 

It’s as simple as showing new contacts a picture. Something they can see in their mind’s eye, and immediately appreciate your value—the reason clients hire and trust you. 

It doesn’t need to be clever. Five seconds isn’t enough time for cleverness. Not enough time to get into detail or tell any stories. That can come later, if there is more time, or you’re on a stage. 

For now, tell them what you do, for whom, and why it matters. 

What problems do you solve? What benefits do you deliver? What kind of clients do you help?

That’s all you have time for, but it’s enough. Enough to get your new contact to see your value and remember you. Because if they have or have had the problem you mention, or are close to someone who has, your message, however brief, is going to resonate and stick with them and open the door to hearing more. 

Which is all you can hope for in a 5-second introduction. 

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Filed Under: Marketing legal services, Networking

Maybe you need some new friends

July 2, 2024 by
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Not friends necessarily, business connections—influential people who can send you referrals, introduce you to key people in your target market, give you information or advice, or inspire you. 

Your business network, which you should continually expand and improve.

Start by identifying categories of people you’d like to know. “Business leaders in the health care field,” for example. Then, make a list of candidates—names of people in that field—and learn as much as possible about them and their industry or market. 

Then, find someone who knows them and ask them to introduce you. Or, reach out yourself, tell them you’ve heard good things about them, and want to introduce yourself.

Ask them something about their company or association or news about their industry. Ask questions. Let them do most of the talking. Listen and learn. 

Follow-up with an email telling them you enjoyed meeting them.

What’s next?

You might see an article about the health care industry and send a copy to your new contact. Or write an article and send that.

You might follow up with a question, ask for advice, or invite them to speak at an upcoming event where you know the organizer. 

If you meet someone else who knows them, you might compare notes. Learn more about the contact, what they do, who they know, and what they want. If you hit it off, you might invite them to coffee. Or that might come later. Months later. 

Stay in touch with them. Be of value to them. Find ways to help them or someone close to them. Don’t ask for anything just yet. That time will come. 

Or it won’t.

You don’t know what will happen and you might need to meet many people before you find one who clicks with you. 

But one might be all you need.

Here’s how to do it

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Filed Under: Marketing legal services, Networking

Size doesn’t matter

May 24, 2024 by
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I’m talking about your list of professional contacts. It’s the quality of your contacts that count, not the quantity. A list of 10,000 people who might recognize your name (or might not) isn’t nearly as valuable as a list of 100 who will take your phone call, reply to your email, or smile when they see you. 

You know, people who know you.

Because if they know people who need your services, or know people who know people who do, you’ve got it made. Even if it’s not a big list.

 Because it’s not who you know. . . it’s who THEY know. (And will introduce you to).

Do you know a professional or business executive who is influential in your target market? Do you know them well enough to ask for a favor? 

Great! Ask them to introduce you. 

If you know the name of someone they know you’d like to meet, ask them by name. “You mentioned you know Jack Bigtime. I’ve heard good things about him and would love to meet him. Would you be silling to introduce us?”

If you don’t know anyone they know by name, ask by category: “Do you know anyone who (describe the kind of contact you’d like to meet).” If they say they do, ask for a detail or two to get them thinking about them, maybe ask how they know them, and then ask if they would introduce you.

If they ask why, tell them the truth—you want to expand your network. Just an introduction. Not marriage. One professional meeting another, the way it’s done every day. 

You may have to talk to a few people to find someone who knows someone who would be a good fit for you and will introduce you (or let you mention their name), but all you need is one. 

Because one will lead to two. And that can lead to dozens. 

Yes, you could play the “quantity-leads-to-quality” game most professionals play, work like crazy and eventually meet someone who’s a good contact for you. But the “quality-leads-to-quality” game is much more fun, and productive. 

Here’s how to do it

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Filed Under: Networking, Referrals, Relationship marketing

Business development leapfrog 

May 1, 2024 by
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It’s all about networking. Meeting people who know people you’d like to know. High-level decision makers, General Counsels, CEOs, advisors, business owners, and other influential people in your target market. 

Your job is to identity people you’d like to meet and work backwards to identify people they know who can introduce you. Eventually, you identify someone you already know or can easily meet because they belong to a group you belong to or know people who do. 

Start with “categories”—types of advisors or professionals or decision makers in your target industry or market. When you know you’d like to meet a financial advisor, General Counsel or manager of medical groups (of a certain size or specialty), for example, it makes everything easier. 

Create a profile. Then, identify “candidates”—actual advisors or decision makers you’d like to meet. Then, talk to your clients and existing business contacts and ask if they know these people, or know someone who does. If they do, ask them if they would introduce you, or if it would be okay for you to mention their name when you talk to them. 

And yes, it is as simple as that. 

You don’t have to score a home run every time. A single or double here and there may be enough to get you face to face with someone who wants to know more about what you do and how you can help their company or their clients. 

If you “only” meet one or two of these top-level decision makers per year, it can lead to a lot of business. 

It’s all about networking. But you don’t have to attend a single networking event. 

Because the people you already know, know people you’d like to know, and you can leverage your relationship to meet them. 

Here’s what to do, step-by-step

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Filed Under: Networking, Referrals

People lead you to people

February 27, 2024 by
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Some people can hire you. Some can’t. Or won’t. Some people can send you referrals. Some can’t. Or won’t. 

Here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter what someone can or can’t do. They know people you don’t know and can lead you to them.

Your new client might know no one who needs your services. But their boss, accountant, neighbor, or friend might. It’s not who you know, it’s who they know and can lead you to. 

You still need to be refer-able. You still need to get introduced or have your contact give them your card or a link to your website. But it gives you a path. A modus operandi. When you meet someone new—online or in person, through formal networking, speaking to a new client or prospect, or chatting with a stranger in line to get coffee, your job is to find out who they know. 

Emblazon it on your brain. “Who do they know?” (Or “Whom…” if you were an English major.)

If they mention they work at a certain company, find out what they do there and who they work with. Do they know any of the executives, directors, vendors, or shareholders? Do they know anyone who does?  

You might start by asking if the company has in-house counsel or works with an outside firm. It would be good to meet those lawyers. Even if they are your direct competitor, they might have a conflict or otherwise be unable to represent a client or take a case (e.g., too big, too small, wrong industry, etc.) and might refer them to you.

NB: get to know other lawyers.

What if your client or contact doesn’t know the in-house counsel or hesitates to introduce them? Pick up the phone, call that lawyer, tell them you have a mutual business contact (the employee at their client’s company) and want to introduce yourself and find out more about what they do. (Psst, and who they know). 

It works the same way with everyone. When you sign up a new client, find out the name of their insurance broker, accountant, financial planner, or attorney. 

More people you want to know.  

As a friend of mine used to put it, “Don’t look ‘at’ them, look ‘through’ them—because it’s not who you know, it’s who THEY know. 

My guide to Lawyer-to-lawyer referrals

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Filed Under: Networking, Referrals
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