Why we don’t do things we know we need to do

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We talk about how our clients don’t always listen to us, but there’s someone else who doesn’t listen to us.

Us.

We don’t always do things we know we should do. Things that are good for us, that serve our purpose and help us achieve our goals. Things we’ve told ourselves we need to do.

Marketing is a perfect example.

We know we should allocate time each week to doing things to bring in new business. Too often, we don’t.

We know the benefits of staying in touch with our clients and prospects and professional contacts. We tell ourselves we will, but we don’t do it, or do it enough.

We know we should network, keep our name in front of people in our niche, update our website, create new content, improve our skills. . . but. . . well, you know.

We’re rational. We know we have to bring in new business and that it’s not going to happen on its own. We also know we have the wherewithal to do the things we need to do.

So why don’t we do them?

Because we don’t really believe the story we’ve told ourselves.

In truth, we think we’ll be wasting our time or money doing things that won’t work, or won’t work well enough to justify that time or money.

Or we think we’re not good enough at the things we need to do and it won’t be worth the investment to get good.

It comes down to our beliefs. Because if we believed in the necessity and value of marketing (or whatever the subject) and our ability to do it well enough to get the results we seek. . .

We’d do it.

But we don’t believe it, so we don’t.

And therein lies the solution.

We need to change our beliefs.

How do you do that?

For some, more information is the answer. Learning the specifics of what to do and how to do it might be all they need to see the light.

For others, seeing what others have achieved might inspire them to take the plunge.

But many people won’t change their beliefs until they see their own positive results, which means they have to find a way to get started even though they don’t believe, and stick with it long enough until something positive happens.

What’s best for you?

That’s what you have to figure out.

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Information vs. Implementation

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When I was studying for the bar exam, someone told me (or I figured out on my own) that I needed to not just read and re-read the material, the “input” side of studying and preparing for the exam, I also needed to work on the output.

So I spent a lot of time re-writing my notes and taking practice exams.

Most of my classmates read and re-read the material, seeking to memorize it. I did that too, of course, but I’m convinced that it was working on output that made the biggest difference.

One thing I did that really tested me was to re-write my notes from memory.

I’d take a topic, say “negligence,” and write down everything I knew. As though I was going to teach the subject to a classroom—or the bar examiners.

There’s no better way to see how much you know (or don’t). Try it with a case or contract you’re working on right now, or something you have to write. No notes, just write down everything you know.

Anyway, I thought about my experience this morning when I read that most successful people tend to invest as much time, if not more time, on implementation.

For every hour they spend reading or listening to information, they spend two hours applying what they learned.

If they take a course on marketing, for example, they don’t just sit on what they’ve learned; they use it. They write something, they practice doing something, they improve what they’ve been doing or they do something new.

Or so the theory goes.

But how does a lawyer measure something like this in terms of their practice? How do we know how much time we spend on output?

We write and speak a lot, and we get paid for our advice, but we do more thinking than anything else.

Is “thinking” considered output? Implementation?

If it is, we’re covered. We output all day long.

The ultimate marketing course for attorneys

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The Law of the Lid

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In John C. Maxwell’s The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, the first law is “The Law of the Lid”. It says that our effectiveness is determined by our leadership abilities.

This doesn’t mean only our ability to lead others. It means our ability to lead ourselves.

It’s about personal growth. If we want our business or practice to grow, we must grow. We are “the lid” in our practice or business, or life. To achieve more, we have to raise our lid.

I was thinking about this the other day as I thought about a friend of mine who, for lack of a better word, is a know-it-all.

He has an answer for everything and doesn’t listen to anyone.

Including me.

I’m a lot older, more experienced and successful. I know he trusts me. He may even look up to me. But he doesn’t listen to me.

He doesn’t ask my opinion about anything, argues with me when I offer it, and makes it clear that there’s nothing I can tell him.

Because he already knows everything.

He has a lot of good qualities but hasn’t achieved the level of professional and personal success I know he wants, because of his “lid”–his unwillingness to seek out and listen to the advice of people who can help him.

Do you have any friends like this? Any clients?

I tell you about my friend not because I have suggestions about how to deal with a person like this. We can be there for them when they want our counsel, but they have to decide to do that on their own.

No, the reason I tell you about my friend is that you may want to ask yourself, as I often ask myself, “Am I like that?”

Do I listen to the advice of others? Or do I think I don’t need to do that because I already have all the answers?

Listening doesn’t necessarily mean following. It means considering and weighing that advice in the context of our own experience.

Something we can’t do if we’re a know-it-all.

We may not be a know-it all. We might be nothing of the sort. But we all have a lid. A limit to what we can achieve because of what we know, what we believe, and what we do.

No matter what our lid might consist of, we can raise our lid by working on ourselves.

By reading and learning, by practicing, by taking action and measuring our results.

And by listening to the advice of others who know things we need to know.

If you need more clients, take my advice: this is a good place to start

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A different take on Areas of Focus

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Most people who use a task management app or system separate their Areas of Focus (or Areas of Responsibility), so that when they’re working, they only see their list of work-related tasks, and when they’re not working, they see tasks or errands related to their personal life.

Many people use just two top-level categories—work and personal. Others break down their responsibilities into narrower categories.

I have 3 businesses and separate my tasks according to which business they belong to. I have a fourth category for personal matters. This works well for me but I’m always looking for different methods, especially since there is a lot of overlap between the things I do.

The other day, I watched a video by someone who separates her tasks not by job or business or other area of her life, but by the activities she performs.

To illustrate, using her activity-based approach, a practicing lawyer might categorize his or her responsibilities into these 7 areas:

  1. CREATE (blog posts, newsletters articles, podcasts, videos, social media posts, books, ads, presentations, etc.)
  2. CONNECT (interviews, networking, joint ventures, social media)
  3. LEARN (marketing, CLE, productivity, personal development, writing, etc.)
  4. MAINTAIN (admin, risk management, IT, client relations, bill paying, investing, etc.)
  5. ROUTINES (planning, processing, calendaring, training; personal routines and chores–exercise, meditation, journaling, self-care, shopping, etc.
  6. LEISURE/SPIRITUAL (rest, fun, family, miscellaneous interests, charitable, etc.)
  7. WORK (cases, client work)

This got me thinking. I’m not yet committed to changing my top-level Areas, but I am looking at using tags or labels to identify my different activities and responsibilities so I remember to schedule and do them.

I thought I’d pass this along to you in case you’d like to do the same.

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The need for speed

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I’m a simple man with simple needs. I don’t need a powerful computer because I don’t edit videos or images, work with complicated databases, or play games. I work with text and use a handful of simple apps to manage my work. 

I could do that on just about any piece of silicon, and as long as the gear I’ve got is still working, I usually wait until it dies before I replace it.  

The thing is, we don’t know what we don’t know and I didn’t know I was long overdue to replace my laptop, which I finally did after Calvin (yes, named after Calvin and Hobbes) recently bit the dust. 

Today, I’m a new man with a new computer. 

A fast processor, a fast SSD, and a new perspective on the value of upgrading even when you don’t think you need to.

I knew Calvin had slowed with age (he was 7 at time of his passing), but I didn’t realize how bad off he was. I blamed Evernote when I should have blamed Calvin. 

Now, Evernote flies. It launches in seconds, notes open as soon as I click them, and everything works the way it’s supposed to. 

All my apps work that way. I don’t have to wait for anything to launch, pages to load, or functions to engage. 

Who knew?

And, what else don’t I know?

Whether it’s computers, workflows, or the people in our lives, we get used to them and often can’t see their flaws. We don’t realize how much we might improve our situation if we change them. 

We need to train ourselves to periodically stand down from our daily routines and take inventory. Examine where we are and what we’re doing and see how we can improve.

What we’re doing might be working but something else might work better. 

Or faster. 

So that’s my story. I’m a new man with a new computer and I like the new me. 

There’s just one problem. I haven’t decided what to name my new baby. Hey, how about Barry? You know, Barry Allen, aka “The Flash”?

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Learn more, remember more

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The other day I mentioned the value of spaced repetition for learning and retention. You review the ideas you’ve learned and want to remember at a later date, often more than once, to help you better understand and remember the material.

There are other ways to enhance your comprehension and retention, however, and you can use them with or without spaced repetition.

Instead of merely re-reading your notes, use one or more of the following techniques to learn more and remember more:

  1. Add meaning. When you read a book or watch a video presentation, you’re taking in someone else’s ideas. You can enhance your comprehension and retention of those ideas by adding context from your own thoughts or experiences. Add your opinion, your doubts, your questions, or your own examples, to further explain or differentiate the material.
  2. Review other sources. What do others say about the subject? Add their ideas, examples, and stories to your notes. Note how they describe things, where they agree or disagree, and their reasons.
  3. Explain it. Test your understanding by imagining you’re explaining the concepts to a friend. Recite what you got out of the article, book, or video, what you want them to understand and remember.
  4. Use what you learned. Connect the material to one of your goals or projects. If you’re preparing a new presentation, for example, find ways to add some of what you learned to that presentation.
  5. Create an “executive summary”. Re-read your notes, think about them, and write a few sentences or paragraphs representing the most important takeaways.

Instead of just re-reading what someone else wrote or said, or your notes about what they wrote or said, go deeper. Add your own thoughts about the information. Put it in your own words. You’ll understand it better and remember it longer.

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Leave your baggage in the trunk

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If you’ve done a lot of networking, you may have heard the expression. It means “don’t bring your problems into the meeting”.

If you had a bad day, nobody wants to hear about it. They don’t want to see your grumpy face or listen to your complaints.

Your clients and prospects and professional contacts may know, like and trust you, but they have problems of their own and don’t want to hear about yours, any more than you want to hear about theirs. Unless it’s a legal problem and they brought their checkbook, of course.

The same goes for your partners and employees. Nobody wants to work with a Debbie or Dennis Downer.

Leave your baggage in the trunk. If you’re meeting online, put on your happy face before you turn on the camera.

This doesn’t mean you can never display emotions. You don’t have to be like Mr. Spock. Your emotions are part of who you are and you would be wooden and unlikeable without them.

But if you’re in a dark place, filled with anger or sadness or feeling sorry for yourself, don’t ask anyone to join your pity party. Reschedule the meeting or send someone in your place.

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Do you have a re-reading list?

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I read an article the other day I’d read a few months ago. It was as if I was reading it for the first time. I saw things I could have sworn weren’t there the first time I read that article.

That’s why it’s important to re-read good articles and books and reports, re-watch videos, and re-listen to audios.

If you got something out of it the first time, read it again. Highlight your highlights. Take notes on your notes. You learn more and remember more when you do that.

Isn’t that what we did to prepare for exams in school?

If the subject is really important to you, re-read it several times. You’ll get something out of it each time.

But don’t this immediately. Wait a few days or a few weeks or even longer, before you go through the material again. “Spaced repetition” is a key to learning and remembering.

Why? Because as time passes between reads, you forget what you read and what you thought about what you read. On your next read, you notice ideas you didn’t notice before, because you are a different person now than you were when you first read the material.

How so?

With the first read, everything was new to you. On subsequent reads, you’ve had time to use the information, or think about it, or to read other ideas on the subject, all of which provide you with context you didn’t have the first or tenth time you read the material.

Clearly, many things we read or watch aren’t worth a second glance. More than a few aren’t even worth finishing. When you find something exceptional, however, something that opens your eyes to new ideas or new ways to use old ideas, put it on your re-reading list and read it again.

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Why is more important than how

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I’m big on “how to”. I like learning how to do things and getting good at doing them. To be the best that I can be so I can accomplish my goals, feel pride in creating things and changing people’s lives.

So I read and study and practice the how-tos

But while “how” is important, it’s not as important as “why”.

You say you want to grow your practice by one-third this year? Why do you want that? What will you do with the money?

Pay some bills? That’s probably not enough to motivate you to do what you need to do to achieve your goal. Money in, money out, another day, another dollar.

On the other hand, if the reason you want to earn more money is to help your aged parents finally retire, because they worked hard all their lives and are still working to pay their bills. . . that’s a big reason why.

That’s the kind of “why” that will motivate you to make the calls or start a newsletter or do other things to bring in more business. It’s what will keep you trying new ideas, staying the course when things get tough, get past rejection or disappointment or fatigue that might otherwise cause you to give up.

Ask yourself what you want. And then ask yourself why you want it.

When you have a big enough why, you’ll figure out how.

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What would you buy?

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It’s been a rough year for a lot of folks. A lot of belt-tightening, deferring purchases, raiding retirement accounts. A lot of resistless nights, fatigue-filled days, and worries about the future.

Stimulus payments and PPP loans may help, but they’re not a long term solution. Building your practice is a long-term solution. For many lawyers, however, the client-pool isn’t quite as deep these days, given that many would-be clients have had an equally bad year.

And yet, there is more than enough business out there for you. I don’t know about the other guy, but for you, there’s plenty.

You just have to find a way to attract them.

I’m not talking about marketing. Yes, that’s part of it, but it might not be the key ingredient for attracting more clients.

What is that key ingredient?

You.

If you want to attract more business, you need to become more attractive.

When you’re feeling nervous about the future, worried, confused, skeptical, scared, or you are otherwise in a bad place mentally and emotionally, it’s difficult to attract anyone, least of all, people who are similarly situated.

Clients come to you because you give them hope for a better future. They need to feel like you can take them there.

It’s not just what you say or promise to do. It’s your music. How you feel and how you make them feel.

If your “music” isn’t attractive right now, you’ve got to change your music.

A simple way to do that is to use your imagination.

Humor me. This is the real deal.

Imagine what your life will be like when things are the way you want them. Or remember what it was like before lockdown living became the norm. Imagine a time when you have lots of clients and cases and money comes in like clockwork.

Get quiet and imagine a better future for yourself. A time when you don’t have to tell yourself you “don’t need that” or you “probably shouldn’t spend that”. A time when money is plentiful and you don’t have to think about it.

In that future, what would you buy? Where would you put some cash?

Would you upgrade that ancient laptop you’ve been lugging around? Hire another assistant? Advertise more?

Would you get some new clothes? Fix up your house? Give more to charity or help out a needy friend?

Would you start a passion project, get braces for your teeth, or hire someone to clean your house once a week?

Think about what you would do when you have plenty of money. More importantly, think about how you would feel.

Take a deep breath and imagine it.

Feels good, doesn’t it? Warm and fuzzy. That tightness in your gut is gone. You feel relaxed, centered, confident. You feel like anything is possible and you’re excited about the future.

Yes or yes?

The only thing left is to find a way to feel that way now, because that feeling is what will take you from where you are to where you want to go. It’s what will make you more attractive to clients who want that, too.

That’s crazy, you say? Woo woo nonsense. It’s just wishful thinking and you need a plan, something you can do that will bring in more money.

I just gave you that plan.

Give a try. Meditate once a day for ten or fifteen minutes and imagine things the way you want them. Do that for 30 days or 90 days. Make it a part of your daily routine.

Worst case, nothing changes, but for ten minutes a day, you take a mental vacation and feel great.

Best case? You change. Your confidence grows and you start taking action, inspired by your wishful thinking.

Your music changes. You become more attractive to people who need your help and they find their way to you.

Because the Law of Attraction is real.

If this is a message you needed to hear right now, if you are inspired by these words, realize that you attracted them to you. What will you attract next?

When you’re ready to take action, here is a great option

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