“Do you want the male version or the female version?”


“Do you want the male version or the female version?” That’s something my wife and I say to each other fairly often.

It’s our way of describing how we want to hear “the story”. (What the heck were you thinking?)

We’ve discovered that when you’re telling a story, men want to know the bottom line first, then a few details. Women want to hear the beginning and middle of the story before they hear the end. They want to share the experience.

So if I get home from the market where I’d run into an old friend, I’m going to say something like, “Joe and Sue separated. I saw Joe at the market today. Pretty sad.”

My wife, on the other hand, might come home and say, “You’ll never guess what happened today. I was at the market in the bread aisle. Oh yeah, I got that sourdough you like. Anyway, I saw Sue and she looked terrible. Not a stitch of makeup. She looked like she just got out of bed. I asked her how she was doing and she said ‘not good’. She and Joe have been fighting for months. They went to counseling and really tried to work things out but Joe got fired and started drinking again. . .”

Male version. Female version.

I don’t know if there is any scientific basis for this. I could be dead wrong. Maybe it’s just that my wife and I are different.

The point is that people are different and you have to know who you are talking to. Some people want you to get to the point. Others want to hear the details.

If you’re not sure, just ask, “Do you want the male version or the female version?”