Many attorneys hide behind a mask of invincibility. They easily talk about their strengths and accomplishments but never admit to their weaknesses and mistakes. 

They want their clients to see them as tops in their field, the best of the best, massively successful and eminently capable of doing whatever their clients need. 

Mistakes and weaknesses don’t fit in with that narrative. 

But clients and colleagues know you’re human. They don’t expect you to be perfect. They trust you to be honest with them and do your best for them—unless they discover you’ve been hiding something. 

In fact, one of the best ways to build trust among your clients and colleagues is to be upfront about your flaws. 

Your imperfections humanize you and make you more trustworthy, not less. The trick is to admit to mistakes and flaws that people can understand and accept. The kind that make you “guilty with an explanation”. 

You were late filing something because a page had to be re-printed or a signature was missing and you ran out of time. There was a late fee (which you paid, not your client) and all was well. 

When you tell a client or prospect you don’t handle a certain type of case, and they expected you would because other lawyers do, tell them why you don’t. Most clients will respect your decision to stick to what you do best and not attempt to do everything or fake your way through it, but tell them this up front. 

Your reputation is everything. You don’t have to reveal every blemish and imperfection, but don’t go out of your way to hide every single one, either. 

I wrote recently that transparency is often overrated, and that’s true. But the consequences of a lack of transparency are often under-appreciated.

So, how much should you reveal and how much should you keep to yourself? 

Good question. If you find a good answer, please let me know. 

A question was asked on social about “unknown truths” everyone should know. An “expert” supplied several examples, including this one: 

“People don’t care about your hard work. They just care about the end result.” 

But that’s not always true.

If an attorney settles a case for a client for $300,000 and bills the client $10,000, the client may be thrilled if they were expecting to pay a lot more. But what if the attorney tells the client it only took him ten minutes to get that settlement? (Because he’s smart, experienced, had inside information, plays golf with opposing counsel…) 

Is the client just as happy? 

Maybe. Maybe not. 

The client got a great outcome but might have a problem being charged the equivalent of $60,000 an hour. 

Because most clients equate value with effort.

They might care mostly about the end result but they want to see that you worked hard for them, argued for them, put in a lot of time, prepared a lot of documents, nearly got eaten before you slayed the dragon, and otherwise “earned” your fee. 

They don’t want to hear that you made one phone call. 

It’s like going to a movie. You may like the happy ending but you like it more because there was a lot of conflict leading up to it.  

Am I saying that practicing law is like making movies? 

Yes, actually, I am. Both have a beginning, a middle, and an end. And both involve an emotional journey. 

You want your clients to enjoy the movie. So, figure out a way to take them on an emotional journey. 

You might explain everything that could have gone wrong, even though it didn’t. You might talk to them about the many things you’ve done in the past that contributed to your ability to settle their case so quickly. 

My vote? Don’t tell them you settled so quickly.

You’re the hero of the movie. Don’t spoil it for them.

Your client is upset. Angry, frustrated, accusing you of (something). What should you do? 

Well, was it your fault? Did you mess up? Fail to tell them something? Charge more than they expected? 

If it was your fault, let them vent, tell you how they feel and what it will cost them, and what they want you to do. 

Hear them out. Don’t rush them. Let them say what they want to say.

When they’re done, take the blame, explain what happened, apologize, and do whatever it takes to fix the problem.

The only thing worse than having an unhappy client is having an unhappy client who leaves and tells everyone they know about their dissatisfaction with you. 

So, fall on your sword and make them happy. 

The good news is that unhappy clients often become happy, lifelong clients when the attorney apologizes, takes responsibility, and remedies the situation. Maybe they feel guilty for being unreasonable or they’ve simply had time to calm down.

But what if it wasn’t your fault? What if the client was upset about something in their business or personal life and took it out on you? They had a fight with their spouse, lost a bunch of money in the market or a business deal, or they had a flat tire and got grease on their new suit. 

What do you do when it’s not your fault? You let them vent and you listen. Show them you care about them. Offer to help. 

Treat them the way you would want to be treated if your roles were reversed. 

If you do, if you let them blow off steam and tell you what’s on their mind, the odds are they’ll realize that the problem wasn’t your fault, they’ll appreciate you for listening, and realize that they’re the one who needs to apologize. 

An unhappy client is an opportunity—to fix the problem if you were at fault or to be a friend if you weren’t.

You tell clients what to do and what to avoid, but maybe you’ve noticed—clients don’t always listen. 

Neither do prospective clients.

You show them the benefits of hiring a lawyer (and why that should be you), but they often do nothing (or hire someone else). 

Your clients and prospects might not believe you. They might not have the money or want to spend it. They might think they can do “it” themself. Or they might be busy with other things and not pay attention. 

How do you get them to do what you recommend?

Repetition is a good option. If you want them to make an appointment or call you to discuss (something), you send them a series of emails and letters; you have an assistant call them, and then you call them. Or you write articles and blog posts and come at the subject in different ways, over an extended period of time, and eventually they get it.

But repetition doesn’t always work. Sometimes, you have to scare the hell out of them by telling them the bad things that can happen if they don’t follow your advice.

Sometimes you give them the facts. Sometimes, you dramatize the facts and get them to feel the heat.  

You want them to consider the plea deal, so you sit them down and explain the worst-case scenario. 

You want them to update their documents, but they drag their feet so you tell them what happened to some of your other clients who waited too long or didn’t do it at all. 

Fear of loss is the most powerful way to motivate someone, and you should use it when necessary.

Sometimes you push—emphasize the bad things that can happen if they don’t follow your advice, and sometimes you pull—emphasize the benefits if they do. 

Yes, tell them both. But they want to know what you think, what you would do if you were in their shoes. Don’t be too quick to answer. Walk them through it. And be as gentle or as tough as you need.