Look for the pony

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There’s an old joke about a boy who fell into a big stinky pile of dung. Instead of trying to escape, he dives headfirst into it and stays there, splashing around. When he finally extricates himself, he’s asked why he did that.

“With all that horse poop, I figured there had to be a pony.”

Dumb joke, but it illustrates an important point about maintaining a positive attitude in the face of a mess. 

When you have a problem or crisis, you might want to ignore it, curl up in a ball, or run away, but no matter how bad the problem is, there’s always something you can do.  

At least that’s how you should think about it. 

You can’t control what happened. You can control your response. 

Stay calm. You can’t panic yourself out of a crisis. Take 5 minutes for a pity party if you must and then take a deep breath and focus on what you can do.

Problems have solutions. Ask yourself “What happened?” “Why?” and “What can I do about it?” You might not enjoy revisiting the problem, but asking questions like these, and answering them, allows you to get clear about your situation and find a solution.

No matter what the solution, it will require action. You have to do something and it will almost always be something you haven’t been doing. That might mean getting out of your comfort zone and if that’s something you resist, consider that the discomfort it causes might be a lot less than what you will feel if you don’t fix the problem.

Take action, continue to do that, and fully expect that you “can fix this”. Because you are unlikely to fix it if you don’t believe you can.

While you’re at it, look for something good about what happened. Maybe you learned an important lesson. Maybe you explored some new ideas you can use in good times and bad. Maybe you lost something but gained something even better. 

When you fall into a pile of dung, look for the pony.

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Quitting doesn’t make you a quitter

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You messed up. You’re not making progress on a project or goal. You can’t seem to stick with your diet or stop doom scrolling on your phone. 

You’re frustrated and want to give up. 

Do it. Giving up might be the answer. This might have been a bad time to start. You didn’t have enough information, or you were busy with other things you also need to do. 

Give yourself permission to quit. You’ve given up on things before, haven’t you? Dropped a case or client or moved a project to “someday/maybe”? Walked away from a relationship or let go of employees?

Maybe you’ve changed careers. Maybe you’ve done that more than once. 

It wasn’t the end of the world. It might have been the best decision you ever made.

It doesn’t matter how much time or money you’ve put into something. Quitting is a viable option.

But before you quit, consider starting again. You started the project for a reason. Maybe that reason still exists. 

Take a break and come back to the project or goal with fresh eyes. Things might be different this time.

That’s how life works, isn’t it? You try something and when it doesn’t work, you try again. There are no rules that say you can’t. So, let it go for a few days or weeks, or a few hours, and start again. 

You’ll use what you’ve learned and do it better this time. Do more research or get some advice. Put in more time or try a different angle. 

Or you might start from scratch, with a blank page and beginner’s mind. 

How do you know what to do?

The answer might be in your notes, but it is more likely in your stomach. Logic is good, but how you feel is usually better. 

Start again if that feels like the right thing to do. Throw it out and choose something else if it doesn’t. 

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Managing expectations

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Years ago, each January, my wife and I attended an “expectation” party which took place at a friend’s home. Everyone found a seat and wrote a letter to their future self, to be read the following year. Instead of writing our goals, we wrote our expectations for the upcoming year, supposedly because expectations are more realistic than goals. They’re based on what we’ve been doing and thus, what we expect to happen—not just what we want.

The next January, we would gather again and read our letters, out loud if we wanted but usually to ourself. And then, write our expectations for the next year. 

Unfortunately, most years I usually didn’t achieve what I expected. Probably because I wrote what I wanted, not what I expected. You want big things to happen in your life. So naturally you set lofty goals (expectations), even if they are unrealistic.

Think big, we’re told. Aim for the sun, the moon, and the stars. If you fall short, you’ll accomplish more than you would if you hadn’t thought big. 

But that’s not the best advice because we usually set goals that are too high (and long term) and continually fail to reach them. We fall short and thus condition ourself to expect to be disappointed. And unhappy. And too often, that’s what happens.

Charlie Munger, said, “If you have unrealistic expectations, you’re going to be miserable all your life.” 

Better than setting big goals and continually failing to meet them is setting small goals and continually reaching them. When we do, we condition ourself to expect to succeed, which is a much better place to be.

If you expect to bring in 5 new clients each month but only bring in 2, you’re disappointed and frustrated. If that happens enough, you start to believe you can’t get more. 

Instead, lower your expectations. Stop trying to accomplish more than what’s realistic and failing. Choose a goal you are reasonably certain you can reach and succeed.

You’ll feel better about yourself and what you can do. You’ll be successful and feel successful, and that’s what will allow you to accomplish more.

Setting and reaching goals, albeit lower goals than you really want, is a recipe for success because you gain confidence in yourself and what you can do. From that platform, you can set incrementally higher goals and realistically expect to reach them.

Taking a gigantic leap sounds good, but you are more likely to get to the top by taking one step at a time.

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Why are some lawyers more successful than you? 

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You’re good at what you do. You work hard. Your clients love you. So, why do some of your less capable competitors do better than you? 

Does it come down to better marketing? 

That’s a good bet. 

They might have embraced marketing sooner than you did and have more experience. They might use strategies you don’t use or execute them better. They might have better professional contacts or a bigger email list. 

Your clients love you, but maybe their clients love them more and they get a lot more repeat business and referrals. 

Maybe they advertise, and you don’t. Have deeper pockets or a better team of advisors. 

Maybe it is a combination of factors—little things they do or do better than you. 

Or maybe it’s none of the above. Maybe they just got lucky. 

You know what? It doesn’t matter. What matters is what you can do to become more successful. 

I have two suggestions: 

  1. Keep trying. Try new ideas, strategies, and methods. And improve things you already do. Get more help, give it more time, invest more money, study, practice, and learn from others. 
  2. Relax. Don’t be upset that you’re not as successful as the competition, or that it’s taking you longer. Don’t strain or struggle. Don’t force yourself to do things you aren’t good at or hate. You’ll get there. You’ll find the right combination. Things that make use of your talents and interests and style. 

Success leave clues, not a blueprint.  

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Who’s your daddy?

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We all need one. Someone who tells us what to do, guides us, and keeps us in line. Because we work better and behave better when we do. 

Our teachers and parents did that. Our employers and clients do that now. We might have paid advisors or be guided by colleagues, family or friends. 

There’s always a higher authority. It might be our maker, the rule of law, or our own values or experience. 

Our clients tell us what they want from us. So do our subscribers and followers. We have deadlines; we make promises we are compelled to keep; we have an image to uphold. And it’s all good because without that structure, guidance, or feedback, we might have too many options or too much leeway and find it difficult to stay on our path and achieve our goals.

Don’t begrudge the rules. Precedent, tradition, and common sense make our life more orderly. We might not like being told what to do, but these constraints give us a path to follow and make it more likely that we’ll get what we want. 

When we start a case or new project, we decide what needs to be done and create a plan. We might question that plan, or stray from it, but the case, the client, and the rules give us a foundation to come back to when we do. 

Everyone needs a boss. Especially when we are our own boss. 

Aren’t there exceptions to every rule? Don’t we have free will? Aren’t we better off when we’re different and stand out from the crowd?  

Yes, yes, and yes. 

Which is why we do what Daddy tells us, but not without asking a lot of questions. 

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You stink (but you can still be successful)

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At one of the first network marketing trainings I attended, we were told that the business is a “level playing field,” meaning that anyone can build a big business and be a top earner.

“You can make up in numbers what you lack in skill.”

You might not be the best presenter or have the biggest list, but if you work harder than most, you can accomplish more than most. 

And this is true. In any business or professional practice. 

Someone else might talk to ten prospects and sign up 2. You might not be as good, but you can talk to 50 and sign up 5. 

You might not have their talent or charm, but you can outwork them. 

Is it really as simple as that? Well, look around you at the lawyers who aren’t as good as you, but have bigger offices and bank accounts. 

Wait a minute, maybe they had more money or better connections. They had an advantage you don’t have. 

Also true. Money and connections often do make a big difference. But so does a burning desire and the willingness to work. 

Which is what you bring to the table. 

And why the law business is a level playing field. 

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What, me practice?

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I heard this on the Internet so it must be true. It’s called, “The Rule of 100” and states, “…if you spend 100 hours in a year, which is 18 minutes a day, in any discipline—you’ll be better than 95% of the world in that discipline.” 

So, writing, speaking, sales, poker, options trading… anything? 

18 minutes per day isn’t much. A year isn’t much. Since it is a big world, with a lot of people in it, I can see how this might be true, at least for many things. 

For everything? Who knows? 

But the point is well taken. If you practice anything every day for a year, you’re going to get a lot better at it.

As professionals, we depend on our communication skills, our ability to persuade others to a point of view. We sell our ideas and our services and writing (and speaking) are essential tools for doing that. 

If you want to get better at writing and speaking, are you practicing? Every day?

If not, you’re not going to get the results you want for yourself and your clients. 

I recommend writing a newsletter or blog, yes, to attract more prospects, build your list and fill your waiting room, but also because it is a great way to practice your core skills.  

Same with our old friend, marketing. 15 minutes per day. Every day. 

If you do, you’ll be more successful than 95% of the lawyers in the world. I heard it on the Internet so it must be true.

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Maybe you need some new friends

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It’s called The Law of Association and tells us we become like the 5 people we associate with most. Think about your best friends and closest business contacts right now. You’re probably close in terms of income, lifestyle, and beliefs. 

If you’re not where you want to be right now, maybe some new friends would help. 

They could:

  • Introduce you to their clients, customers, vendors, and resources
  • Give you ideas and advice about what you’re doing in business or practice or your new business idea
  • Set an example for you to emulate, e.g., how they lead their life or conduct their business
  • Expand your income horizons by seeing what they do, what they read, and what they talk about
  • Help others see you in a different light—judging you by the (new) company you keep
  • Help you solve problems and achieve goals with their skills, knowledge, and experience
  • Introduce you to new experiences, e.g., hobbies, travel destinations, restaurants, books, etc.
  • Invite you to sit in on their poker game
  • Give you someone new to talk to or laugh at your (stale) jokes

And maybe become one of your 5.

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How to make the right decision

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Yes or no? This or that? Now or later? How do you figure out what to do? 

Yeah, it depends. 

What’s at stake? What’s important to you? Are you trying to solve a problem or achieve a goal? 

And, what else is on your plate right now? 

Here are some options to help you decide:

  1. Trust your gut. Your first impulse is often the right one. 
  2. Research. Read, talk to people, see what others have done and how it worked out, and see what they advise for you 
  3. Think on paper. Brainstorm ideas, write down what you know, what you want, what you could do, the risks and the rewards. Writing fosters clarity and focus. 
  4. Do a little. Start, see what happens, and how you feel about it. Do you like what you see? Did you learn something? Get other ideas?
  5. Give it time. Get away from the idea and let your subconscious mind work on it. And then, trust your gut. 

Any one of these could help you decide. Try one or try them all. And, if you don’t know which one to try first, I suggest the last one: give it time. 

Because you may already know the right answer and just need time to give yourself permission to do it.

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Do more of what works?

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Yesterday, I quoted Peter Drucker’s comment about the “aim of marketing” and shared my thoughts. Today, I want to chew on another quote from the man which you will surely recognize. It begins: 

“Do more of what works. . .” 

That sounds like good advice, but how do we know when something works? 

If we get desirable results, we have to say it’s working, but what if we could get better results doing something else?

Or doing the same thing, but differently? 

We might dramatically improve our results by changing our words, our process, our timing, or by involving different people. In which case, continuing to do what’s working might not be best. 

We should always look for ways to make what’s working work better. 

Hold on. What does “better” mean? 

In the context of marketing, better might mean bringing in more clients, but it might instead mean bringing in clients who have more work for us, bigger cases, or work that is more profitable.

“Better” could also mean “easier”. Or more enjoyable. Or more consistent with our values and long-term goals. 

Okay, we get the idea. Don’t stop doing something that produces desirable results unless you find something better and always look for something better

But we can’t ignore the second half of Drucker’s quote, “…and quickly abandon what doesn’t (work)”. 

What does this mean? 

No results? Poor results, compared to what? Results that require too much time and effort, i.e., aren’t worth it? 

And, if we determine that something doesn’t work, should we completely (and quickly) abandon it? Doesn’t it make sense to see if we can fix it?

So many questions. 

The full quote, “Do more of what works and quickly abandon what doesn’t” is easy to understand and remember. It isn’t bad advice, just incomplete. 

But it’s a great place to start. 

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