Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t have what you want.

You want what you want and you should have it.

And you will, if you do what needs to be done.

It may take longer than you thought. It may take skills you don’t have. It may take a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, or. . . it may not.

It may not take hard work or massive action. It may just take a different strategy.

Confucius said, “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You want what you want and you will have it.

A long time ago, I wrote New Year’s resolutions.

Not anymore.

Because they focus on the negative.

Things we need to fix. Defects in our character, poor habits, problems with what we do (or don’t do).

If we resolve to exercise more, for example, we tend to focus on overweight, out of shape, lacking in energy, and so on.

Resolutions call attention to our negative aspects and when we dwell on them, we attract more of the same.

Because we get what we think about.

So, instead of resolving to fix something or do better at something or stop doing something that doesn’t serve me, instead of focusing on what’s wrong, I focus on what’s right.

I write a list of positive aspects, things I appreciate about my life.

You might want to do the same.

Write down what you like about being an attorney. About your practice, your partners, your employees, your colleagues, and your clients.

Write down what’s working well for you in marketing your practice. Write down what you did well with a particular case or for a particular client.

Write down what you like about your personal life–your family, friends, community, hobbies, interests and your spiritual life.

Write about books or movies you enjoyed, apps you love, your favorite restaurants, investments that have done well, projects you’re looking forward to starting or completing.

Write about things that make you happy. Things that make you smile or laugh out loud. Things that make you proud.

When you focus on the things you appreciate, the positive aspects of your life, you get more of the same.

No resolutions necessary.

On my list of things to appreciate: you.

Thank you for your patronage, your support, your ideas, your comments and kind words–they mean a lot to me.

I look forward to an exciting, prosperous, and productive new year.

Join me?

All our lives we’ve been taught to work hard, face our fears and fight for what we want. We’ve been told that nothing good comes easily.

Frederick Douglass said, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” Napoleon Hill said, “Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle”. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Every step. . .requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle”.

In a recent piece, even Leo Babauta at Zen Habits advocates that we “move towards what we resist”.

“Find the thing in your business or personal life that you know would be powerful for you, but that you’re resisting doing. Move toward that,” he said.

I’m confused. I thought Zen was about letting go of struggle and resistance.

I’m also confused about the notion that we should ignore what our gut is telling us. It’s there for a reason, isn’t it?

Short term, we can “feel the fear and do it anyway”. We can make the call, review the document, or work on the project for an hour, even when we really don’t want to.

But long term and big picture–your career, life decisions, relationships–shouldn’t we listen to that little voice in our head? It might be telling us we’re headed in the wrong direction.

How about a compromise?

Instead of ignoring our gut and pushing forward in the face of fear, or listening to our gut and doing nothing we fear, how about looking for a way around what we fear, a way to get where we want to go and “enjoy the journey”.

I vote for that.

Because the idea that our entire existence here is meant to be hardship and struggle doesn’t work for me.

And if we can find a way to make things easy, or at least easier, why wouldn’t we?

Maybe you feel like you can’t do any more than you’re already doing.

You’ve given it everything you’ve got and you have no more to give.

The odds are you can do more. A lot more.

The Navy SEALs have something they call ‘the 40% rule’. It says that when you’ve hit the wall and are physically or mentally exhausted and are ready to quit, you’ve really only reached 40% of your true capacity.

They teach recruits that when they feel the urge to quit, to see it as a signal that they’ve got a lot more in them and they just need to push past that point.

If they do, they’ll find they have a lot more gas in their tank.

There’s been some research to validate the science behind this. But I have to wonder how much of this is our minds.

In the film, “Facing the Giants,” a football coach has his players perform something called ‘The Death Crawl’, to teach them they can do a lot more than they think.

Take 5 minutes to watch this inspiring scene.

The next time you think you don’t have any more to give, think again. Your gas tank may look empty but there’s always more in reserve.

Are you ready for your practice to take a Quantum Leap?

Doris Day died today. She was 97 and left the world a better place.

If you remember her movies, TV show and singing career, you know. If you’re not familiar with her career, do yourself a favor and explore some of her work.

In the latter half of her life, she was active in animal rights causes. I remember her speaking about that on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.

I thought about that the day I met her, walking three of her dogs.

I was in high school and my family lived in Beverly Hills. It was early on a Sunday morning, quiet and foggy, and as we drove through “the flats,” there she was.

My father pulled up beside her and spoke to her. He didn’t acknowledge that he knew who she was, he talked to her about her dogs. I think the rest of us just stared.

When you live in Beverly Hills you see a lot of celebrities. Many of them do their best to ignore you. Miss Day wasn’t like that. She was about as nice as a person could be.

This morning, when I heard the news about her passing, I remembered that story. I thought about how she’d had a full life and will be remembered fondly.

It made me think about the word legacy and what mine might be. What will I leave the world? How will I be remembered?

Something we all need to think about from time to time.

I don’t want to do it. I’m tired. Not feeling it. I’ve got other things to do.

Yeah, me too.

We tell ourselves we’d rather be at the movies or get a few more zzzzz’s or we pine for the good old days, but since we’re adults, we suck it up and do what we have to do.

We’ve got bills to pay and people to please. So we do it. Whether we feel like it or not.

Snap, crackle, pop, the day is over and we’re glad we didn’t give up and let our pouting inner child have their way.

What happened?

I saw this quote today that suggests an answer:

“Motivation follows action. Get started, and you’ll find your motivation follows…”

Sounds good but I don’t think it’s true.

We get started because we have bills to pay and people to please. That’s our motivation.

It’s not about the pleasure of a good day’s work. It’s all about pain.

The pain of not paying the bills and the consequences thereof outweighs the pain of doing things we don’t feel like doing.

When our inner child is having a tantrum and doesn’t want to do their homework, promising them an extra hour of TV if they finish might work, but in my experience, what works better is the threat of NO TV if they don’t.

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