The goal setting conundrum

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So much has been written about goal setting it can make your head hurt.

Many say you should set big goals because they fuel your passion and drive you to reach great heights. Small goals aren’t inspiring, they say. Without big goals, you won’t accomplish big things.

They also point out that if you fall short of achieving your big goal you’ll still be ahead. “Reach for the sun, the moon, and the stars, and you might get the sun and the moon,” they tell us.

But if you’ve ever set big, hairy, audacious goals, and not come close to reaching them, you know there’s something missing in this equation.

Have you ever put up posters with affirmations declaring your big goal, or vision boards resplendent with the goodness that awaits you when you achieve it? It’s exciting at first, but when years go by and you’re not even close to reaching your goal, your goal isn’t inspiring you, it’s doing just the opposite.

What then? Should you set lower, more “realistic” goals? If you aren’t close to a goal of $500,000 per year in income, for example, should you change the goal to $150,000?

No. Don’t lower your goals. That’s no fun at all.

Keep the big goals because they really are inspiring. When you go through a rough spot, your big goals give you a reason to keep going. They remind you that what you’re doing may be hard but it’s worth it.

So what you do?

First, see your big goal for what it really is, a dream, something you’re working to achieve some day. Forget about “when” you will achieve it, or “how”.

You can’t make a dream come true by simply choosing a “due date” for it. Nor is it possible to know how you will make it happen. There are too many variables and unknowns and trying to figure it all out in advance usually leads to anxiety and disappointment.

Instead of “when” and “how,” focus on “what” and “why”.

Think about what you want to be, do, or have, and why this is important to you. Think about how you will feel when you get there, and enjoy that feeling.

By acknowledging what you want and why you want it but remaining flexible about when and how you achieve it, you give emotional power to your dream, allowing it to continue to inspire you, instead of putting soul-crushing pressure on you to make it happen.

But you need something else.

You need to set short-term goals related to the big goal that are likely to move you forward towards achieving it. But whereas your long-term goal is about results, your short-term goals should be about activities.

Again, you can’t predict or control results. You don’t know when (or if) something will happen, or how.

But you can control your activities.

If your long-term goal or dream is to hit the $500, 000 income level, one of your short-term activity goals might be to contact two new prospective referral sources each week. That’s an activity you can control and it is almost certain to increase your income.

Establish a series of small, short-term activity goals that will move you towards your long-term goal. Hitting those goals is how you’ll make your dream come true.

How to find and approach new referral sources

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