Some folks don’t listen. They know they shouldn’t discuss politics and religion but they can’t help themselves. They’ve lost friends, relatives no longer speak to them, and who knows how many clients will never come back.

The problem is, in today’s political climate, when we meet new people–at parties, at formal networking events, or going out for coffee with a prospective client or professional contact–politics inevitably comes up.

You can (and should) change the subject. But that’s often easier said than done.

Therefore, I propose that you give up networking, at least for now, at least until the craziness dies down. Build your practice without it.

I’m serious. There is just too much at stake. If you go to an event and word gets out that you support someone or something that a preponderance of the group or someone with emotional problems does not, you risk being ostracized, shamed, even physically harmed.

Better to keep people guessing.

Unless most of your clients come from one side of the spectrum and you’ve made a decision to forgo business from the other side, what do you have to gain by flapping your gums in public?

I know, we shouldn’t have to keep our mouths shut. So what? That’s the way it is.

The last time I brought up this subject, I heard from a lawyer who told me he says whatever he wants, he doesn’t care what anyone thinks, and anyone who disagrees with him “can go f*** themselves.”

I didn’t like his attitude so I removed him from my list.

Here’s how to network without leaving your office

Yesterday, I said the best way to network is to have your friends introduce you to some of their friends. But what if you don’t have many friends? Or the friends you have don’t know anyone in your target market?

You go to plan b. You do everything you can to meet some people (without an introduction or endorsement) and do your best to turn them into friends.

Yeah, it’s work. It’s not easy. It takes time. But you do what you’ve gotta do.

Yesterday, I heard from someone who has started a professional networking group in Manhattan. He’s looking for a few lawyers to come to their upcoming event and check out the group. He asked me to let him know if I knew anyone.

I assume he’s already invited all of his professional contacts and asked them to extend the invitation to their professional contacts. (If he hasn’t, he should.)

But that’s not all he can do.

He can get on the phone and call lawyers in his market, introduce himself, and invite them to the event. If they can’t/don’t want to come, ask them to pass along the invite to their lawyer friends.

If they say yes, they’ll come, offer to allow them to invite their contacts to come with them.

Spend an hour or two, call enough people, make the event sound sexy, offer free food, and you’ll get some folks showing up. Oh yeah, start your calls by reaching out to the contact persons at professional networking groups out of your immediate area. They may know people who are looking for a networking group that’s closer to their home or office.

What else?

He can post the event on his social media channels. He can post the event in appropriate Facebook and Linked In groups. He can do a mailer or advertise in professional journals. He can email his clients or customers (because everyone has a lawyer in the family). He can knock on doors in office buildings near the event and invite the occupants or pass out some flyers.

He doesn’t have to do this every week. Just long enough to get the group going and make some new friends.

Thing is, everyone he invites to his event who doesn’t come is someone he might be able to network with anyway. Call them again, remind them who you are, and get to know them. Who knows, they might become a friend even if they never come to your event.

The attorney marketing formula

Networking isn’t just about meeting new people. It’s about how you meet them and what happens after you do.

The best way to meet new people is to be introduced to them by a mutual friend. The operative word is friend. Not an acquaintance or a casual business contact, a friend. Someone who knows, likes and trusts you.

When a friend introduces you to another friend, magic can happen. The number one rule of networking, then, is to make friends first.

Friends enjoy each other’s company. They do things for each other and are willing to ask each other for help.

Look at the list of people you know. How many are friends? It might be only a few but you only need a few to start.

Your friends can introduce you to their friends. You can gain access to their groups and meet influential people in them. When you do, look for ways to make new friends by finding out what they need or want and looking for ways to help them get it.

Networking isn’t just a tally of transactions. It’s about friends helping each other because they want to, not because they are obligated to.

If you want to grow your practice or build your career, go make some new friends.