When I was in law school, I helped the girl I was dating with a couple of legal issues. Don’t get excited, I was under the supervision of a practicing lawyer.

That girl and I got married and have lived happily ever after.

I was thinking, what if I had been licensed at the time I helped her with those matters? Today, in many jurisdictions,  I might be in trouble since dating a client is verboten.

Is that prohibition a good thing? 

In my opinion, it isn’t. I can see how dating a client can lead to trouble but that doesn’t mean it always leads to trouble. So on this issue, I am decidedly libertarian: 

Leave us alone, overseers, and trust that we will usually do the right thing. If we don’t, do what you have to do.

On the other hand, while I don’t like “not dating” as a rule, it makes a lot of sense as a recommendation. A strong one, even, complete with examples of all the things that could go wrong.

Here’s another recommendation: don’t treat your clients like personal friends. 

If you hang out with your clients, if you are overly familiar with them or use coarse language in front of them, or you do a host of other things that might be considered undignified and unprofessional in the eyes of your clients, you run the risk of damaging your reputation. 

Be friendly with clients, but maintain a bit of distance. Let down your hair with them occasionally, but don’t ever let them see you drunk.  

We need our clients to respect us and look up to us, something our friends don’t always do. Especially if we’re sleeping with them.

How to get referrals from other lawyers

Experts say that most of the wealthiest, most successful people in the world don’t care about what other people think of them.

Do you?

When a client tells you what they think you better pay attention. You should listen to your accountant’s advice. When the Bar has an opinion about your behavior, you probably shouldn’t ignore it.

But don’t let family or friends or “tradition” tell you how to lead your life.

What’s that? Sometimes you do? Sometimes you avoid doing things because you’re worried about what friends or colleagues or your jerk of an uncle will think?

No bueno.

The best way to get rid of that fear is to do it anyway.

Mark Twain said, “Do what you fear and the death of fear is certain”.

Pick something you’ve avoided doing and take a chance on yourself. Tounges may wag. You might get some dirty looks. But when the walls don’t come crumbling down, you’ll know unless those people pay your bills, keep you out of trouble, or sleep in your bed, what they think is irrelevant.

Here’s what I think about getting referrals

David Cassidy died recently. His daughter, from whom he had been estranged, reported that his last words were, “So much wasted time”.

As Christmas approaches, this might be a good time to reflect on that sentiment.

Call someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time. Renew ties. Make amends. Hug your kids. Tell them you love them.

It’s also a good time to think about the future. What have you been putting off? What’s on your bucket list? What would you regret not doing if you found that your time was up?

I wish you a happy holiday, a Merry Christmas, and a productive new year.