The art of the handshake: how not to be creepy

August 23, 2013 by
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“The probing handshake is where the other person probes you with their index finger pressed against the inside of your wrist.” Sounds creepy and, according to this article on “The Art of the Handshake,” it’s not something you ever want to do (or have done to you).

We’ve all been the victim of bad handshakes. My favorite is when the other person doesn’t look you in eye. Ladies, I’m sure you know what I mean.

I wrote before about Bill Clinton’s hand shake. I said, “He doesn’t just clasp your right hand in his, he also touches your arm with his left hand. During the conversation, as he makes a point, he might reach out again to touch your arm or put his hand on your shoulder.” This is the right way to do it, according to the author, who says we should never use the more familiar, “Politician’s Handshake”:

“That is where you use two hands to cover or cup the other person’s hands. No one likes it, it is too personal, and you have to earn the right to do it. Politicians do it thinking you will like them more – you won’t. If you feel you need to touch more, shake the hand normally and with the other touch the forearm.”

Apparently, Hillary doesn’t have Bill’s touch. The author quotes an executive who said, “I shook hands with Hilary Clinton: two-handed and clammy.”

I used to have an office administrator who had an incredibly limp handshake. I couldn’t stand it. It was like shaking hands with a corpse. Actually, no. A corpse would be stiff. Of course being the he-man that I am, I had to squeeze his hand to show him how it should be done. Apparently, I was an ignorant and ill-mannered boob:

“If you are meeting with a person who gives a very weak handshake, perhaps that is their custom. Don’t grimace and don’t make a face, match their handshake with equal pressure and give thanks you have an opportunity to demonstrate that you have social intelligence and good manners.”

It could have been worse. When Bill Gates was introduced to the president of South Korea on a recent trip, he kept his left hand in his pocket. That’s rude in any country, but especially so in South Korea. But hey, at least he didn’t stare at her chest.

Need a marketing plan? Get this.

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Filed Under: Communication, Image, Networking, Personal development Tagged With: , ,

My clients are driving me crazy

August 13, 2013 by
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I got an email from an attorney who said, “my clients are driving me crazy”. Apparently, many of his clients don’t appreciate him. They are rude and think they know better and he is finding it difficult to maintain his composure.

What do you do in a situation like that?

The first thing I would suggest is to take a look at yourself. Why? Because your law practice is a reflection of you–your attitudes and habits. If you have a preponderance of clients who don’t appreciate you, that may be because you don’t appreciate them.

We don’t attract the clients we want, we attract the clients we deserve.

Do you appreciate your clients? More importantly, do they know it? Do you show them by your words and deeds that you care about them and will do whatever you can to help them? In what ways do you show them? How often do you show them? Is it sincere or is it something you do because you think you have to?

You can’t fake this. People know.

But you may not know. You may not be able to see yourself clearly. So, ask your staff what they think. Ask other professionals who know you. And ask your clients. Send them a survey they can respond to anonymously and leave room for their suggestions.

The other thing I suggest is that you focus on the clients who do appreciate you so you can attract more like them.

What’s different about them? What services do they hire you to perform? How did they find you? (Clients who come from referrals are often better than clients who come through the Internet or advertising).

Are they at the high end of the fee spectrum or the low end? Are they first time clients or repeat clients? What is their background or occupation? Age? Income level?

Survey them as well and see what they like best about you.

Look for patterns and create a profile of these better clients. Then, work on attracting more like them by focusing your time, energy, and resources marketing to people who fit that profile. Start with your existing and former clients who fit that profile. They will lead you to people like themselves.

And, as soon as possible, start pruning your client garden. Get rid of the clients who don’t appreciate you, first, before you have found clients to replace them. Scary? Yes. But you will feel great getting rid of all that negative energy and soon, the void you create will be filled with the clients you want and deserve.

This shows you how create a profile of your ideal client.

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Filed Under: Career satisfaction, Client loyalty, Client relations, Communication, Marketing legal services, Marketing Plan, Personal development Tagged With: ,

What does “hard work” mean to you?

August 12, 2013 by
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One day early in my career I was looking for new office space. I found myself looking at a nice space in Beverly Hills that had been recently leased by some young turks (small “t”). They had taken a bit more space than they needed and were looking for a sub-tenant to take over one of the offices.

As he was taking me on a tour, the turk explained to me how he and his partners conducted business. He said, “we work hard and we play hard”. Even though I was going to be a tenant, not a partner or employee, I got the feeling he wanted to see if I was a good fit.

He didn’t elaborate but something told me I wasn’t a good fit. I don’t know what “playing hard” meant to them but I’m pretty sure it didn’t mean they played a lot of chess. Don’t laugh. I like playing chess. A lot.

Anyway, this morning, when I was in the rain room, I recalled this exchange and thought I would ask what you think about this whole work vs. play business.

Here’s my take on it.

To me, work means doing things you don’t want to do. Play means the opposite. My entire method of operation is to try to do as much of what I want to do and as little of everything else.

In other words, my ideal would be no work and all play.

That doesn’t mean goofing off. It doesn’t mean the absence of accomplishment.

It means eliminating or doing less of the things I don’t like or am not good at. I do that by delegating those tasks to someone else or finding creative ways to run my business and personal affairs so as to avoid or minimize them.

We weren’t put here to endure, we were put here to enjoy. There is no virtue in hard work for hard work’s sake.

Anyway, what do you think? How do you define work and play? And do you work hard and play hard or, like me, do your best to enjoy the journey? Let me know in the comments.

By the way, when I called back the next day to ask if I could take another look at the office, the turk told me they had rented it. I was pretty sure that was not true. I think they discriminated against me because I wasn’t cool. I don’t know what gave me away. It couldn’t have been my fez because fezzes are cool.

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Filed Under: Law office management, Personal development, Productivity, success Tagged With: , ,

The strangest secret

August 9, 2013 by
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You just found out you won the Powerball. Hundreds of millions of dollars or pounds or shekels or yen. Life changing wealth.

Smile. Bask in the thought. Feel the tingle of delight go up your spine (or down you leg).

From this day forward, your life will never be the same.

Now, what will change? What will your new found wealth allow you to do?

Will you continue practicing law? If so, is there anything about your practice that you will do differently? Different cases or clients? More employees? Fewer?

Will you retire? What will you do all day?

Will you give the money away?

What will you buy? Where will you live? What will you be doing a year from now?

You may think it silly to indulge in such fanciful thoughts. You may remind yourself that you don’t play the lottery and see this exercise as a waste of time.

It’s not a waste of time.

It makes you examine your life to see what might be different. It may make you realize that some of things you’re doing aren’t serving you. Maybe you can get rid of them. Or begin moving in that direction.

Many people live their entire lives doing what they have always done. They never consider changing course. They may be unhappy but they are settled into their unhappiness. It’s easier to maintain the status quo.

And then a crisis occurs. A serious illness. The death of a loved one. A divorce. A financial calamity. Only then are ready to consider making changes. And then they find that some of those changes are a welcome relief.

I don’t want you to wait for a crisis before you examine your life. Use your imagination instead. Let your mind dwell on the impossible dream. Let your inner child frolic in the playground of your mind.

Grab a pen and start writing. Or grab a friend and a beer and start jabbering. You just got the word that you won the lottery and now, anything is possible.

What’s the first thing you will do? What will you do after that?

Now, how does it feel when you think these thoughts?

If it feels good, it means you are already moving in the right direction. The essence of what you desire is on its way. You are attracting the changes you desire.

If it doesn’t feel good, if you feel resistance towards what you have imagined, things will not change for you, at least not the way you want them to.

In his classic recording, The Strangest Secret, Earl Nightingale said, the key to success and the key to failure is this: “We become what we think about.”

He also said, “Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.”

Our thoughts have power. I hope you use that power to get what you really want.

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Filed Under: Goal Setting, Inspiration, Personal development Tagged With: , , ,

One year ago I. . . and today. . .

July 30, 2013 by
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Let’s try a little exercise. I want you to think back to one year ago. Look at your calendar to remind yourself where you were and what you were doing. Sort your notes by date. Read your diary.

What did you do or change one year ago that has positively affected your life today? It doesn’t have to be exactly one year ago. Close enough is close enough.

Write it down.

“One year ago, I. . .” and then describe how your law practice or personal life has improved as a result. Something like this:

One year ago. . .

“. . .I started. . . and today, I. . .”.

“. . .I improved. . . and today, I. . .”.

“. . .I changed. . . and today, I. . .”.

“. . .I updated. . . and today, I. . .”.

“. . .I stopped. . . and today, I . . .”.

You might find it easier to work backwards, that is, to think about something positive in your life right now and see if you can relate it back to something you did last year. For example, if you are seeing an increase in new clients today, you might realize that last year at this time, you began reading my blog or you purchased one of my courses. (Smiley face with big grin goes here.)

Anyway, if you can find something you did last year that has benefited you this year, it should be noted and reflected upon. How did you come to make that change? What precipitated it? What has been the best part? What might you have done differently or better?

Now, think about the future. How can you amplify what you did last year to make it even better this year? What should you continue doing and what should you consider changing? What should you do more of and what might you cut back on?

By now, you have probably figured out that the point of this exercise isn’t really to get you to look back so much as it is to get you to look forward.

What could you do today so that one year from now, you can look back at this date and see how you effected a positive outcome?

Go on, give it some thought and write down your answers. What could you start, improve, change, update, or stop doing today?

Send me an email next year and let me know how it worked out.

The Attorney Marketing Formula includes a simple marketing plan. Check it out here.

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Filed Under: Law office management, Marketing legal services, Marketing Plan, Personal development, success

How to stop procrastinating

July 23, 2013 by
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I wonder how many people each day search on the term, “how to stop procrastinating”.

Eh, I’ll look it up later.

If you’re like me, and most of humanity, you have experienced and perhaps struggled with procrastination. You know there are things you need to do but you don’t want to do them. (If you wanted to do them, you would do them.)

You are feeling resistance because the task is too big, too unpleasant, or too difficult. You may not know what to do or where to begin. The task may be too risky and you are afraid of making a mistake.

So, you tell yourself you don’t really need to do it now, it can wait. Or you elevate the importance or urgency of other tasks and do them instead.

You may have become very clever at finding excuses for not doing the things you need to do. And you may feel guilty about that and look for ways to overcome your affliction.

But you shouldn’t. Your subconscious mind has created this resistance and you shouldn’t fight it, you should give in to it.

Your subconscious self wants you to be safe and happy so it makes you feel negative emotions when you think about tasks you don’t want to do.

Don’t ignore those feelings. Don’t try to overcome them. Let them stop you.

I’m not saying you can shirk your responsibilities. You can’t simply blow off anything you don’t want to do. What I am saying is that instead of bulldozing through the wall of resistance in front of you, find a way around it.

One way to do that is the “salami technique”. Take a big project and cut it into thin, manageable slices.

If you are procrastinating about starting or revising your website, for example, find some aspect of that project where there is little or no resistance. Something small and easy.

You might bookmark some sites you like, or collect articles to read later. You might open a new file and make a few notes or a list of questions.

Easy to do. And if you do any of them, you will have begun the project. Now, look for something else that’s easy to do and do that.

Yes, there are times when you have to suck it up and do things you simply don’t want to do. You have to “feel the fear and do it anyway.” But if you continually break things down into smaller and easier tasks, you can almost always find a way to get started, and that is always better than doing nothing.

Want to know how to stop procrastinating? Stop trying to stop. When you come up to a wall, turn left or turn right and keep walking.

If you need to start or revise your website, this is all you need.

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Filed Under: Personal development, Productivity Tagged With: , , ,

3 simple questions for managing your law practice

July 17, 2013 by
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Managing your law practice is anything but simple. There are a lot of moving parts. People, problems, deadlines. It’s easy to get lost.

If you find yourself busy but not achieving your goals, if you find yourself doing but not getting things done, I want to offer you a way to gain clarity and get back on track.

All you have to do is ask yourself 3 simple questions.

The first question is. . .

1. What do I want?

More clients? Better clients? Bigger cases?

Lower overhead? Less stress? Shorter hours?

Do you want to build a big practice or do you want to work towards retirement? Do you want to eliminate a problem or achieve a milestone?

Whatever it is, write it down, and be specific. You need to know what you want before you can work on getting it.

Let’s say the answer is “I want to get an average of two referrals every week.”

Nice. Now you know what you want. Now, answer the next question.

2. Why don’t I have it?

Why aren’t you getting an average of two referrals every week right now?

Are there any obstacles? Problems? Defects? Something you should do but aren’t? Something you are doing but aren’t doing enough? Something you are doing but aren’t doing well enough?

Be honest. There could be many reasons for not getting the referrals:

  • You don’t have enough referral sources
  • You don’t have enough former clients to provide enough referrals
  • Your existing and former clients don’t know enough people who need your services
  • Your clients don’t know you want their referrals; (you’re not asking for referrals or asking often enough)
  • Your fees are higher than other attorneys and you haven’t made it clear why you are worth more
  • Your fees are lower than other attorneys and people think there is a reason (i.e., you don’t have the experience, don’t get the results) and get scared off
  • You’re intimidating or have a reputation for being unapproachable
  • You haven’t made it easy for people to refer (i.e., told them what to do, what to say, etc.)
  • There aren’t enough cases or clients in your market
  • You don’t have a website (so referrals can’t “check you out”)
  • Your website isn’t good enough so when referrals check you out, they get scared off
  • Your competition gets the lion’s share of referrals because they [know someone, spend big money on advertising, etc. . .]

There are lots of reasons why you might not be getting the referrals you want. Write down everything you can think of. Ask your staff. Ask your colleagues.

You may not like some of the reasons, especially the ones that reveal your personal shortcomings. Those are probably the ones you need to pay the most attention to.

Okay, one more question to answer.

3. What can I do about it?

Once you know why you don’t have what you want, it’s time to focus on solutions.

What can you do to remove obstacles? Fix problems? Make improvements?

Write a “can do” list–a list of what you can do.

If you’re not getting enough referrals because you don’t have enough referral sources, that’s something you can work on. Write it down. You can get more referral sources.

On the other hand, if you’re not getting enough referrals because you don’t have enough former clients to make those referrals, you can’t do anything about that right now. That’s not something you “can do”.

There may be items on your “can do” list that you choose not to do. That’s okay. Write them down anyway because you may decide to do them later or they might give you ideas for other solutions.

For example, if your market isn’t big enough to supply you with the referrals you want, you can move, open a second office in another town, or take on another practice area. All things you can do, but you might choose not to do any.

However, although you might not want to open a second office right now, or ever, writing it down as a “can do” might prompt you to find an attorney in another town and establish mutual “of counsel” arrangements. Now you can promote your “other office” to your clients and contacts and start getting referrals in that other town.

A “can do” list shows you what’s possible. Instead of dwelling on problems, you will focus on solutions and be on your way to getting what you want.

Does your website need work? I can help. Let me show you how to Make the Phone Ring.

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Filed Under: Career satisfaction, Law office management, Marketing legal services, Marketing Plan, Personal development, Referrals Tagged With: , , , ,

Thinking like a lawyer may be harmful to your law practice

July 12, 2013 by
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My wife gets frustrated when I answer her questions with questions. Or when she asks for my opinion about something and I am non-committal.

Why am I like that?

Because I’m a lawyer. Lawyers are trained (and pre-disposed) to question things. To look at both sides. Weigh the consequences.

We can’t help it. “On the other hand. . .” is hard wired into brains.

Thinking like a lawyer protects us and our clients. It avoids harm. If something bad happens, it minimizes damages.

But while thinking like a lawyer may be a necessary competent of being a lawyer, it can hinder the growth and profitability of our practice.

Lawyers usually have a difficult time making decisions. All that weighing and “on-the-other-hand”-ing keeps us in a form of stasis. When it comes to making decisions about hiring, delegating, marketing, and managing our practice, we often make no decision.

But making no decision is a decision–a decision to maintain status quo.

A law practice, like a living creature, is either growing or dying. If you are not growing, if your practice is the same today as it was a year ago and you do nothing to change that, eventually your practice will die.

Change is an essential component of life, and change occurs because of your decisions. Stephen Covey said, “I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.”

If you have difficulty making decisions and you want to change this, the first thing you should do is to decide to change this.

Paradoxical, I know.

Start by lying to yourself. Tell yourself that you have decided to get better (and faster) at making decisions, even if this is not true. You don’t have to tell yourself that you are a good decision maker, just that you have decided to get better.

Get comfortable with the idea. Let it rumble around inside your brain. Write it down if you are brave.

Your subconscious mind won’t know it’s not true–it believes what you tell it. And your Reticular Activating System (RAS), the part of your brain that filters stimuli based on your beliefs and desires, will get to work on your behalf.

First, your RAS will filter out stimuli that contradicts the notion of you being better (and faster) at making decisions. It will hide or downplay memories of situations where you have had trouble making decisions.

Second, your RAS will allow in more stimuli that is consistent with the new you. It will call your attention to situations where you have made good decisions or fast decisions, and it will infuse those thoughts with positive emotions.

Your RAS will also help you find ways to get better at decision making. It might make you notice an article or book that can help. It might make you recall someone you met who is good at making decisions quickly, prompting you to speak to them.

If you have been having trouble making decisions about a specific topic, creating or improving your website and online marketing for example, your RAS will help you get additional information about that subject so that making decisions gets easier.

If you want to get better at making decisions, you can. But only if you decide you can.

Here it is: more information about marketing online for attorneys.

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Filed Under: Personal development, Productivity Tagged With: , , ,

How to attract new clients

June 24, 2013 by
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So, you want to know how to attract new clients? Well, you can’t merely offer services people need and are willing to pay for. That just gets you in the running, along with legions of other lawyers who offer the same services. If you want to attract new clients, you need to be attractive.

You. Personally. Because people hire lawyers, not law firms.

People meet you at networking events, not your firm. They hear you speak, not your firm. They read something you wrote, not something written by your firm. And when they they give referrals, they say, “call my lawyer,” not, “call my law firm”.

One way to be attractive is to show people an advantage to choosing you. Show them how you are better or different. Show them benefits they get hiring you that other lawyers don’t provide. Prove that you are the better choice.

I cover this extensively in Make the Phone Ring: A Step-by-Step System for Attracting Good Clients. It shows you how to get clients to see you not only as the best choice, but in many cases, the only choice.

If you don’t have it, you can pick it up here.

One way to show people an advantage is to show them that you are a leader in your target market or community. Someone people want to follow and listen to. Someone with good ideas. Someone who inspires others to take action.

Leaders attract people who like what they see and hear and want to follow.

In his book, Tribes, Seth Godin said, “The secret of leadership is simple: Do what you believe in. Paint a picture of the future. Go there. People will follow.”

Do you believe in what you are doing in you practice or are you just making a living? Are you painting a picture of a better future and showing people where you are going? Are you someone worth following?

If you’re not sure if you are a leader, turn around. If there’s nobody behind you, you’ve got some work to do.

Learn how to attract new clients online and offline, click here.

 

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Filed Under: Marketing legal services, Online Marketing, Personal development Tagged With: ,

How to stop other lawyers from stealing your ideas

June 21, 2013 by
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I got an email from a lawyer who says other lawyers are copying her firm’s marketing. Some are lawyers who left her firm and opened a competing practice. “I know this is supposed to be the highest form of flattery, but it drives me nuts. Why can’t people come up with their own ideas?”

Wow, a lawyer with marketing ideas worth copying. You don’t see that every day.

Anyway, let me address the issue of what to do about people who are stealing your ideas.

You might be expecting me to say something about non-compete and non-disclosure agreements, copyrights and trademarks, but I have to assume she has that covered. She knows what to do to protect herself legally. She wants to know if there’s anything she can do to make it harder to copy her ideas in the first place.

Yes, there is something you can do.

First, whatever it is you are doing, don’t be quiet about it. Don’t try to sneak in under the radar, do it big. Do it loud enough so that everyone knows you are doing it.

True, your competitors will also notice, but they are going to find out anyway. You can’t stop them. And you can’t stop them from using your ideas. But you can make enough noise so that when they do copy you, the market will see what they’re doing and realize that they are copycats and you are the original.

If I were to start a computer company today and tried to copy Apple’s marketing, I would be laughed at (and sued). Everyone would know that I was a wannabe and that Apple was the original. My marketing would remind everyone that Apple was the first and the best and I would wind up selling more Apple products than my own.

If you are the Apple of law firms in your practice area and market, nobody will be able to touch you.

The other thing you should do is infuse into your marketing as much of your personality and style as possible. Don’t make it about “the idea,” make it about YOU. Because you are unique. You can’t be copied.

Use your name and photo in all of your marketing collateral. Tell personal stories that nobody else can tell. Record audios and videos and do webinars and interviews that feature you as the face of your firm.

Your ideas will still be copied but you will always be the original, and the best.

One more thing. The fact that other lawyers stealing your ideas “drives you nuts” will only serve to perpetuate your frustration. It’s the Law of Attraction. What you focus on, you get more of.

You have to let it go.

There have been many times in my life when I was frustrated about something. As long as I continued to think about what I didn’t want, I continued to get more of what I didn’t want. When I was (finally) able to let go of my emotional attachment to what I didn’t want, that’s when I got what I did want.

I know, kind of airy-fairy. But true.

Think about the reality of people stealing your ideas. Not a good feeling, right? Now, think about some aspect of this that feels better. Maybe that even though they are stealing your ideas, your firm is still doing well. Or that you realize that ideas are a dime a dozen and that it’s the implementation that counts. Or maybe that the idea of becoming the Apple of law firms in your market challenges and excites you.

Let go of your frustration and continue to think thoughts that feel good when you think them. Get excited about all of the goodness that lies ahead for you. When you do, you will be at a place that is so far ahead of other lawyers, they won’t ever be able to catch you.

Need marketing ideas? Try this or this.

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Filed Under: Dealing with stress, Law office management, Marketing legal services, Personal development Tagged With: , , , ,
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