Hit pause and take inventory


Many people are feeling lost right now, uncertain about their future and what to do about it. Out of desperation, some are considering major career changes, thinking they have no choice but to start over.

If you know someone in that position, you might suggest that they stay put. Remind them that no matter where they are right now, they’re probably in a better position than they’d be in if they started from scratch.

They’ve got skills, experience, contacts, and a reputation. They’ve worked hard to get where they are.

Instead of jumping ship and working on a new career, they might be better off working on themselves.

That’s what Sue Hawkes, founder and CEO of a consulting firm, did when she had hit bottom.

“My life was in a deep, dark hole at age 42. I was living in a friend’s second home, I was working through my divorce, the economy and my businesses were in a shambles. It was 2008 and all areas of my life were challenged. I made a resolution to mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and financially intentionally improve myself by the time I was 50 by making long term, consistent and incremental improvements. I learned to say no to anything misaligned with my plan which included: learning to delegate without guilt, prioritizing my time and sticking to it, journaling my gratitude for a positive attitude, surrounding myself with supportive people who are champions of possibility, finding clarity in my purpose and personal values, and giving back to others. Over time, adding these small changes and practicing them changed my focus and my life.”

Sometimes, changing careers is the right decision. Before anyone takes that leap, they consider building on what they already have.


Choosing the right clients


When I was ten years old I went to summer camp for two weeks. Sleeping in cabins, swimming and fishing in the lake, archery practice, softball, campfire songs.

I loved every minute of it.

Our counselor was cool. He didn’t talk down to us or boss us around. He was like an older brother and we could talk to him about anything.

I had so much fun I went back the next year.

But the second year was different.

Same woods and lake, same games and activities, different counselor. And I didn’t get along with him at all.

The details aren’t important. What’s important is that as much as I loved my first year at camp, that’s how much I hated my second year.

Because of the counselor.

The people in our lives make a difference.

If you know people you don’t like, don’t associate with them. Spend time with people who make you feel good.

That includes your clients.

Spend time with clients who appreciate you and support you. Clients you like to be around.

Those clients tend to know people like themselves and can refer them to you. You’ll probably like them, too.

You can’t choose your camp counselor but you can choose your clients. And you should.

How to get more referrals from your clients


What’s the hardest part of practicing law that nobody talks about?


I don’t know about you but for this lawyer, the hardest part of practicing law is the enervating weight of responsibility we carry.

We take on all our client’s problems so they don’t have to. We feel for them, work unendingly to make things better for them, and take bullets for them, because that’s what we do.

And that’s on top of our own burdens.

We have employees who depend on us. Overhead to meet. The bar association and the tax man constantly looking over our shoulder.

There are so many balls we have to keep in the air. So many ways things can go wrong.

And so much at stake.

One mistake could cause the client to lose everything. It could do the same for us.

We learn the law. We learn how to build a practice. Over time, we get better at doing the job. The hardest part, the part that never gets easier, the part that nobody talks about, is the feeling that the weight of the world is on our shoulders.

But that’s a good thing. Because the day we stop feeling that burden is the day we stop caring, and the day we know it’s time to do something else.

I had that day, once. I was conducting an arbitration, listening to my client testify, listening to her complain, thinking I would do my best for her but I really didn’t care how much she was awarded, I was tired and wanted to go home.

That’s when I knew it was time to get out. A few months later, I did.

Looking back, I realize that I was probably just going through a tough time (and an insufferable client) and that I still cared about helping people. After a year doing something else, I started practicing again and continued for another ten years.

So yeah, practicing law is hard. Caring is hard. But that’s what we do.

It’s easier when you get the money out of the way


You’re a fraud (unless you’re not)


Most of what you do in your practice is routine. You’ve seen it before, done it before, and you know what to do. If you’re not sure, you know how to find out. 

And yet, there are times when you don’t. 

You are presented with a new (and difficult) issue. A case of first impression (and a lot at stake). A big decision and nary a clue about which way to go. 

When this happens, you talk to someone with more experience, take a course, associate with another lawyer, hire an expert, or otherwise bridge the gap in your knowledge or experience. 


But what if this happens all the time? What if you continually feel like you’re in over your head or can’t handle the job?

What if you feel like an impostor?

Relax. You’re probably not. 

Wikipedia defines impostor syndrome as a “psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments, and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”‘.

I’m guessing that’s not you. 

You’re not a fraud, you just need more time on the job. 

That’s the good news. 

The bad news is that what you’re feeling–the doubts, the questions about your choice of career, and all the rest–mean you’re not happy doing what you’re doing. 

You need to fix that. Or find something else to do. 

Need a plan? Here


I feel good. I knew that I would, now


Albert Schweitzer said: “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.”

Actually, science says he’s right. By mapping the brain to identify dopamine production they found that pleasure results in greater productivity.

When you feel good about what you’re doing, you give it more energy. You work harder and get better results.

Are there exceptions? Sure. In the short term, you can make a lot of money doing something you detest. But it catches up with you in terms of poor health, failed relationships, and other negative consequences. So you wind up with money but you’re still not happy.

Why not start with happy and have both?

Stop looking at happiness as the end result or an added bonus and start seeing it as the pathway to success.

Most lawyers who aren’t happy suck it up and continue working until they have enough money, contacts, and ideas to retire or go with plan B.

Some make it. Some don’t.

How about this: If you don’t love what you’re doing, change something–your practice area, partner, job, or methods. Find different clients. Adopt different marketing strategies. Compartmentalize your work so can focus on the parts of your practice you enjoy and delegate or automate the rest.

Because success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.

Get more referrals so you can hire more help and let them do the things you don’t like


Give your life a tune-up


You’re busy. Taking care of business, living the life you’ve created, traveling forward in time towards whatever comes next.

Are you going where you want to go? Are you doing what you want to do?

If you’re not sure (or, even if you are ), I encourage you to make a list (yes, another list) and find out.

Make a list of everything you do you wouldn’t do if you didn’t have to.

If you didn’t have to have an office, for example, would you? If you didn’t have to write articles, record videos, network, or advertise, would you?

Include big things and small things and everything in between.

Would you practice law if you didn’t have to? Would you do trial work, stay with your practice area, maintain certain expenses (e.g., employees, software, etc.) or take the same types of clients?

Do the same thing with your personal life. Relationships, activities, hobbies, investments, expenses.

Write it all down. And make no assumptions about whether you really do have to do what you’re doing. We all do things on autopilot, because we’ve always done them or because we don’t think we have a choice.

Set aside the list for a while. Come back to it with fresh eyes. And then eliminate, delegate, or modify the things on your list that don’t serve you.

Or, consciously accept them (for now) if you believe there is no alternative or that the price you’re paying is worth it.

This exercise will allow you to make better decisions about what you’re doing. It will help you gain clarity about your goals, priorities, and responsibilities, pare down or eliminate activities you don’t enjoy, and improve both your effectiveness and efficiency.

It will help you become more productive and more prosperous and improve the quality of your life.

So, what’s on your list?

Getting more referrals gives you more options


If you’re not having fun, you’re not doing it right


Dale Carnegie said,”People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they’re doing”. Was he right? Can you be successful doing work you hate? Or work that bores you to tears?

In the short term, sure. We’ve all done it. But in the long term, if you don’t enjoy what you do, you’ll never accomplish as much as you could.

But here’s the thing. You don’t have to enjoy every part of it.

When I was practicing, I loved helping my clients–watching them smile when I told them the great result I’d obtained for them, hearing them say thank you, getting cards and gifts, and having them refer lots of friends and family.

That was fun.

I also had fun going to the bank and making deposits. That never gets old.

Everything else? Being papered to death by deep pocket defense firms, Los Angeles traffic, calendar calls, the lack of conviviality with some of my opposition, the bar’s arrogance and heavy hand, clients who tried to micromanage their case?

Not so much.

But, on balance, it was fun. Until it no longer was. That’s when I started looking for my next adventure.

How about you? Are you having fun? If not, what needs to change?

More money? Shorter hours? A better crop of clients?

A partner? No partner? More employees? No employees?

A shorter commute? Less trial work? Less paperwork?


Whatever it is, you can have it. I promise. Figure out what you need and go get it. Because no matter how well you’re doing right now, you’ll do better and be happier when you’re having fun.

Referrals are fun!


What do you want, exactly?


In order to figure out what you want in your practice or any area of your life, it helps to first figure out what you don’t want.

Try this exercise:

Sit down in a quiet place and write, as quickly as you can, a list of everything you don’t want in your professional life. The things that take too much time, the things you hate, the things you don’t hate but would prefer not to do.

Don’t editorialize (or whine), just get it out and write it down.

It might be litigation, divorce, small cases, big cases, employees, partners, working for someone else, going to networking events, business travel, high rent, long hours, billing, collecting fees, unhappy clients, stress, too little income. . .

Don’t hold back. Write it all down. Nobody will see your list but you.

Keep writing until you can’t think of anything else.

Look at your list. It feels good to unload all of your burdens, even if it’s only on a piece of paper.

But you might also feel angry, as you see, in black and white, all of the things you have brought into your life and allowed to continue. Things that cause you anxiety, stress, time, and money.

Acknowledge those feelings and resolve to change the things that are causing you to have them.

You probably can’t eliminate all of the things you don’t like, or even most of them, at least anytime soon. But you can eliminate some of them and make some of them better.

Look at your list and decide what needs to go and what needs to change. Then, take a few minutes and make a new list. A list of things you want, based on your first list.

If you said you don’t want to handle divorce any longer, what do you want to handle instead? If you said you don’t want to chase clients to pay their bills, write down the way you want things to be.

Then, add to your “want” list anything else that comes to mind. Let your imagination soar. Do you want to work a 5-hour day and simultaneously double your income? Write that down. (NB: you can do that, as other lawyers and I can attest).

This is an important exercise because clarity is the first step towards change.

Plan, do, review. Start with this


What if you don’t like what you do but can’t change that?


In response to yesterday’s trip down memory lane, attorney RG asked, “What if you don’t like what you do (law but can’t change that). . .”

I love a good challenge and “can’t change that” is about as good as it gets.

Of course you can change that, RG.

It might be difficult, emotionally wrenching, expensive, and take a long time, but it can be done. Many lawyers do it and so can you.

Start by asking yourself questions like, “How can I change my situation? What would I like to do instead? How do I find a way to “like” what I do?”

You can change your situation but first you must give yourself permission to do it. Before you can do that, you must give yourself permission to believe that it’s possible.


I don’t know what it is that you don’t like about your work but I peeked at your website and see that (a) you are a sole practitioner who offers an array of services, and (b) you do litigation.

My first suggestion is to look at ways to reconstitute your practice areas.

Choose a practice area you like (or hate less) and focus on that. Take a partner or refer everything else out.

If litigation is a source of stress and long hours and “don’t like,” you can change that too. You can outsource some or all of it. Get an “of counsel” relationship with a firm and let them do the heavy lifting. Hire someone and keep it in house. Or refer it out.

Hold on, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that if you have fewer practice areas and outsource your litigation you’ll lose income and you can’t afford that. Am I right?

Well, what if that didn’t happen? What if you find that specializing allows you to increase your income? And what if the time you free up by outsourcing some or all of your litigation gives you room to bring in more of the work you enjoy and that pays well?

That’s what I found when I did it.

At first, turning away business was scary. But the vacuum i created by doing so was soon filled with work that paid more and required less time. If you’ve read my stuff, you know that I quadrupled my income and reduced my work-week to three days.

I’m sure there are other issues that cause you to want to “get out”. Many of these are fixable, too.

But if you can’t fix them, start working on a plan to get out.

Here’s how I did it:

I got good at marketing and built up a war chest that gave me options.

I started two side businesses The first helped me to replace my practice income. The second provided me with passive income which allowed me to retire and do what I love.

I don’t know who said it but this quote seems to fit: “You should either do what you love, or find something that gives you enough time and money to do what you love.”

How to choose your specialty (and why you should): here


Faking it


Do you remember the day you learned that you had passed the bar exam? Sure you do. We all do. We also remember how we felt when we got the news.

Me? I was relieved. Not excited. Okay, maybe a little excited but more relieved than anything else because I knew I would never have to go through that again.

I was also proud of myself. Passing the California Bar, arguably the toughest in the country, first time out–yeah, I was proud of that. All that hard work had paid off.

I boxed up the books and the notes, got sworn in, and got to work.

I had clerked throughout law school so the work was familiar. The moment I opened my own office, however, everything changed.

Having that license meant I was responsible. People depended on me. If I messed up, I had nobody to blame but myself.

Eventually, I got comfortable being in the captain’s chair. Okay, who am I kidding? I was scared to death. I was sure that my clients would see right through me and know I didn’t know what I was doing.

I would be unmasked as a fake. A fraud. A boy in his father’s three-piece suit.

But I did know what I was doing. Enough, at least, to get the job done.

As I gained experience, the work got easier. I became more confident. Case by case, client by client, I grew into the role of a trusted advisor and successful professional.

Building my practice was hard but worth it. I enjoyed the challenge and I enjoyed helping people and when the money was good, it was very good.

My practice eventually led me to other things. Other mountains to climb. I was (mostly) successful there, too, but I often wonder if I would have been happier doing those things instead of going to law school.

I don’t know. All I know is that things have worked out well. Probably the way they were supposed to. And that’s exciting.